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My mom (vent) and FB question

The other day my mom was really rude to my autistic son on FB. I told her I thought she was rude, and left it at that. I did apologize the next day for my tone, but stood by what she said on a public forum to him was uncalled for. It was more than what she said, but its a long time thing with her competing and being jealous of the grandkids, and I have dealt with it all my life.
Well she unfriended me which I had no idea lol. One of my adult kids pointed it out and I said whatever. I am done caring. She is a very toxic person anyway. I cancelled our plans for vacation with her and my dad. And I have not heard from her. My (adult) son apparently asked her why she unfriended me (even though I said I DIDNT care) and she lied, she said she did not. She never corrected that either.
I ran errands this morning, come home and I have a friend request. I really dont know what to do at this point. She is all drama all the time and I am almost 40. She turns 60 this week and acts like a teenager. Do I add her? Or make her apologize? I just feel like I am more than done with all of this.


Asked by gemgem at 10:24 AM on Apr. 4, 2011 in Relationships

Level 42 (148,630 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I would just ignore the request and let things settle down a bit, I think you did the right thing by cancelling plans, at 60 she is unlikely to change, and I wouldn't talk about it to my kids anymore,,,just let it be and time may make her come around a bit, but keep your distance and just go on,, although she is your Mom, she doesn't deserve the effort your putting into worrying about her! What did she say exactly? I think if she was out of line, you probably shouldn't have even apologized for your tone! Take care, and be strong!

    Answer by kimigogo at 10:50 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • I wouldn't get right on FB and friend her. Let it sit awhile before you decide. Toxic people can cause great damage in our lives and her making a rude comment to your autistic on FB is really over the top! If she's causing emotional damage to your children, then you need to take time to think it over. Have you ever had family therapy? She sounds like she needs very clear boundaries set! Often setting those limits will let her know what you will and won't allow. I wish you the best!

    Answer by AlisonAstair at 10:31 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • Thanks, no counseling with her. Shes a retired therapist lol. Plus she lives 8 hours away.

    Comment by gemgem (original poster) at 10:37 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • I think I would just leave it for a while, if not indefinitely. I know all about how much of a drama queen a mother can be- I have(or had, rather, she's doing better now) one of my own. After a particularly bad episode, I told her that she wouldn't see me or my family again until she got her life on track(she was doing drugs as well) and grew up a little bit. It took almost a year, but she came around. She realized family was more important than her being the center of attention and she came by one day to talk. It took me some time to trust her again, but so far we are doing well.

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 10:51 AM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • My 17 yr old who is also high functioning Autistic posted he had thrown his class ring. He got it the same day he got his license. I told my mom who had sent $100 as a "gift" to help with it. Mind you, never asked for a penny. She likely forgot I told her, and my son never did probably bc well he is 17. She posted it would have been nice to know you even got the ring, love the atm. I just thought it was uncalled for. I am always telling my kids not to post their drama online. I expect it from them as teens, but shes 60.

    Comment by gemgem (original poster) at 11:01 AM on Apr. 4, 2011