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How would you handle this?

My DH has a coworker who is setting off alarm bells in my head. She is close in age to my DH and me. Recently he told me she'd confided in him about a nasty breakup with her longtime boyfriend, and he told me she hadn't told anyone else in the business - just him. Earlier this week, I was in the office and saw them interacting. She was blatantly flirtatious with my husband (who seemed completely oblivious).

He isn't doing anything wrong and doesn't even seem to be aware of her behavior, but it makes me very uncomfortable. Ideally I'd like him not to be around her any more, but that's not really plausible. I don't want him to quit his job, particularly in this economy.

How would you handle this? I don't want to make him feel that I'm accusing him of doing anything wrong, but I don't want him around her, either. How would you bring up your concerns without accusing?


Asked by Anonymous at 3:55 PM on Nov. 29, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • I was in a situation like this years ago , men are so gullible , what I did was I planted a seed in my hubbys head , I said "listen love but just be careful with ............,she is obviously vulnerable at the moment with the breakup of her relationship and any male role figure who is sympathetic may lead to mixed signals ,I am a woman and I know the signs I know you may not see this for yourself but I think you should be aware of it so watch yourself . My hubby said he hadn't noticed anything and just thought she was being friendly and I said , yes but stroking your tie and asking for lifts is overstepping the mark dont you think . Just make him aware of womanly ways some men are so naive


    Answer by loulou332 at 4:05 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • ask him to just remind her that he is happily married.. does he wear a wedding ring??

    Answer by krazyash023 at 3:57 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • He does wear a wedding ring and she's met me more than once, she knows we're married with kids and, I would assume based on how my DH and I act when we're together, that we are very happy.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:00 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • I phrased that poorly. If she's paying any attention she'd know we are very happy based on how we behave together.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:01 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • Definitely a wedding ring. A picture of you nearby. And mentioning how good a wife you are. I wonder if you should bring his attention to her behavior and your suspicions, or if this would just cause him to be more interested.

    Answer by Bmat at 4:01 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • The next time I saw her i'd just make a comment like " I'm sorry to hear about your break up, I can't imagine how you must feel not having a girlfriend to confide in." That way she will be aware that your husband tells you everything and that she is confiding in an empty listener. In reality women are catty and she may not accept that statement well.

    Answer by Spears07 at 4:14 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • goodI like loulou's answer!  Best to talk to him now, before you blow up on her! LOL


    Answer by brandyj at 4:21 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • I agree with Spears07! Subtle but effective!

    Answer by amydh at 4:42 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • I disagree. I don't think you should mention it to him. If it were me I'd go straight to HER and tell her that you feel her verbal and non verbal communications with him is inappropriate and misleading. Tell her how it makes you feel and tell her to cease and desist. Let her know you will be watching her and talking to him about it (you don't really have to talk with him about it unless you think she'll cry to him). Tell her to find another target for her unwanted affections and intimate conversations. He might want a way out. Maybe he's not knowing how to tell her to stop and may appreciate you handling it.

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:44 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • Go loulou!!! wonderful also served to bolster hubby's ego. Win-win!

    Answer by companygoddess at 4:50 PM on Nov. 29, 2008