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Do you think its right for inlaws to pass your baby around like shes theres? My aunt was holding my baby and handed her to me and MIL just grabs my baby and feeds her! also she said its her job to help out and make sure she is disaplined!! I feel like im not even the mother, so I told my DH the visits with them are put on hold for a while! Iam tired of it!

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:11 PM on Nov. 29, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Is this the first grandchild? Your MIL means well and thinks she's helping but if it's bothering you you need to let her know.

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 4:13 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • I think you need to tell her that you're uncomfortable with how she's handling this, just remember when you get frustrated she means well.

    Answer by haleykarson at 4:14 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • she really thinks that she is helping so you may just need to say something.... I had to do it twice at thanksgiving!!

    Answer by augustmommy08 at 4:16 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • They are overjoyed about the baby and that they get to be around her. They should ask, but they aren't thinking, just thrilled to pieces. It's no doubt that you are the mother, perhaps you could bring yourself to letting them have their few minutes of happiness with the baby, since you have her many many hours and they have her for such a short time. Smile and be indulgent of their pleasure, you know that in the end you'll have her all to yourself, and they never will.

    Answer by Bmat at 4:18 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • Thats how my MIL was when our daughter was first born. She eventually calmed down. She gave our daughter a candy cane last christmas and I told her a story of how my mothers friend gave our daughter cake icing with out asking and that it really made me mad so we don't visit them often now. After I told her that she started asking if it would be okay to do something because she knew that I would come around less if she crossed me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:22 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • You should tell her that she should ASK before grabbing your baby or feeding it or disciplining it. You are the parent, not her. If she wants to "help", she needs to ask you what she can do to help and you give her instruction.
    I think both you and your DH should sit down and have a chat with her and calmly let her know how you are preciving the things that she is doing.
    Another thing you can do and what I did with my MIL, is to constantly assert myself as the mother. If she was trying to feed my child, I would let her know that I would do it.

    Answer by nwdeserangel at 4:22 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • ya but she makes comments about how she is going to be on top of making sure she doesnt act up. and made comments about your not taking MY baby girl here or there.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:23 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • ooh- then I would just say, MIL- you didn't help make this child, therefore, you don't get a choice how she is disciplined or where I take her.
    She needs to go buy a dog for herself.

    Answer by nwdeserangel at 4:26 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • lol she has a dog. she is just way controlling. ive been getting so down about this like I feel like she isnt even my child, there bringing me down not making me care or happy so I am done bringing the baby up for a while

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:33 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • yea i had big problems with mine to the point where they havent seen my son for 6 months and until they change they wont.
    stay strong.

    Answer by momavanessa at 5:13 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

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