Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How to teach respect?

My four year old has started this stage where she is constantly disrespecting me. For instance, if I tell her to do something she'll say "Mommy leave me alone" or she'll just use a tone with me whenever I tell her to do something. What would be the best way to discipline these types of actions that will get her to learn to respect me effectively?

Answer Question

Asked by iluvmm09 at 12:22 PM on Apr. 4, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 15 (2,277 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Shoot my daughter just turned 3 & this started months ago for us!

    I explain to my daughter that she is using a disrespectful tone with me & its not nice. I point it out all the time. If she does something such as crosses her arms, stomps her foot, screams no to me & refuses to do what I ask (this happens about 10x a day for me) & she is asked more then twice to do the task then she gets time out for 3mins. If she is totally & completely out of hand for whatever reason she simply goes to bed for the rest of the day & night. Usually I dont do the put to bed thing until its like 3pm or later. But now that she has gone to bed super early a few times okay many times all I have to do now is threaten going to bed & she knows I will follow through on it.

    These are the things that we do & thus far work for us. Good luck, its tough!

    Answer by Mel30248 at 12:26 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • As a behavior specialist, I see this quite often! Get nose to nose with her and speak very firmly (not yelling), "You may NOT talk to me like that!"
    Some kids get so shocked that they will cry. If she just gives another fresh comment, then she gets a consequence. Make it consistent. If she loves a certain show, then that's what she loses for being disrespectful.
    I've been seeing this question a lot lately, guess it's time to write an article on my site for it!
    Good luck!

    Answer by AlisonAstair at 12:55 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • AlisonAstair thank you so much. I will start doing that and I'll let you know how it's going. Also, if you do write that article, could you let me know so I can further my research. Thanks :)

    Comment by iluvmm09 (original poster) at 12:58 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • as soon as she does it, do like pp suggested. with ds we spank if he disrespects us. he doesnt do it often anymore lol now its mainly whining.

    Answer by dreamangel06 at 1:59 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • all i had to do was give them a look,a look like you know better and you know the consequences of your actions. still to this day even though they are all grown and gone,if they see me and i give that look its what is wrong ?what did i do?My children were taught very early yes and no.I always told them there is only 2 things in this life you need to become a good adult and that is honesty and respect.And the 1st day of school was" get in there and show them what you can do!Still one of my kids favorite things to hear.I was not a mean mom,but very firm.I was not raised this way being the youngest of 6 ,i was babied ,but mine where raised the way i felt they should be raised.They never got to spend the night out unless i met the parents,period.No adult home,no spend the night.

    Answer by grismelda at 4:06 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • Be consistent. That's our biggest problem. He's figured out that daddy will give in just to make the situation end whereas I'm the strick no sir you will not talk to me that way.

    Answer by Holland04 at 9:42 AM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • I have started doing what I have noticed they do in my son's preschool. I don't yell, I just tell him how he should have said it slightly sternly--you mean No thank you mommy and then make him repeat the polite thing to say. I also just tell him he is making me angry because that is not a nice thing to say and ask him what the right way to express himself would be. If its a true battle of wits where he tells me off while I am trying to help him I just calmly remind him that I am the Mommy and he is the child and we are going to do things my way. (this after a big lecture beforehand, Can you drive a car? Do you have money? Can you make your own dinner..until you can do more for yourself you need to listen to Mommy because she knows best...)

    Answer by hotelmom123 at 10:48 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.