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6 Bumps

Do you know someone who is having an affair?

If so, do you want to tell their spouse? Do you allow them to use you as an alibi?


Asked by Alexias30 at 2:20 PM on Apr. 4, 2011 in Relationships

Level 18 (6,342 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • Many years ago I made a friend while going to CNA school. She would eat lunch at my house and study for tests there. My dh was deployed, so she was at my house a good bit. When my dh got home, we had already completed the program and we didn't see each other much. Then I started getting phone calls late at night from strange men. (She was married with kids). She and I also had the same name, so you can imagine what my dh was thinking! Then at 2 am a couple of nights her dh showed up at our door. When he saw it was just me, my dh and dog he stopped. I felt so bad for this man! And to be an unknowing alibi! It was horrible! I hope he found happiness with a better woman!

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 2:13 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • not currently. no, i did not allow myself to be used as an alibi, and no, i did not tell their spouse...although it was tempting!!

    Answer by dullscissors at 2:24 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • Yes. My neighbor is cheating on his wife. I told her last night I saw him at a restaurant over the weekend with a woman and they were kissing and cuddling. I was so mad I took video of what they were doing and showed it to her. She thanked me and she has the video proof on her computer now. She had suspected it and accused him but he kept telling her she was nuts. I noticed a locksmiths vehicle was in front of her home and heard him yelling when he couldn't get in. She is a very nice person and I would have felt bad knowing that he was out having sex with someone else and possibly bringing home STD's to her.


    Answer by Anonymous at 2:49 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • yes and i stay out of it!

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 2:30 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • I have before and no I believe in the sanctity of marriage and would never allow anyone to use me as an alibi to cheat. I would also tell if I knew.

    Answer by okmommy08 at 2:36 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • I have two friends (girls) who started in with the cheating stuff. I didn't tell the spouses, but I DID remind them of the "contract" of their marriage, and told them that they HAD to be honest with their spouses, and if they fell for someone else, they HAD to do the right thing by getting a divorce and letting their spouse be with someone who actually loved them how they deserve to be loved. I can't sit back and watch someone knowingly hurt another person without saying something. It is not right, and I will not be an accomplice. I have one friend, though, who;s husband DOES know about the man that she loves. He's okay with it. She's okay with it. Weird, but, their marriage, I guess.


    Answer by ImaginationMama at 2:38 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • yes i kno someone bt i justt stay out of it and i confronted her about doing so cuase she has everything what more can she want!! but after that i just stay out of it...

    Answer by anayasmommy21 at 2:44 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • I am aware. It's none of my business cause she knows him but is hoping the best. It's just embarrassing to confront & it bothers her he hasn't changed. But I would never let them use me as an alibi. The other spouse usually already has a gut feeling, just not ready to confront or deal with it.

    Answer by shynu at 2:50 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • Yes, and while sometimes I do want to tell his wife, I don't think she'd believe me anyway. He'd never even try to use me as an alibi because I sure would not lie for him.

    Answer by riotgrrl at 2:52 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • At this time I do not know anyone who is having an affair. If I did, I would not let them use me as an alibi and I would not lie to help them cover it up. I am pretty sure I would tell the person who is being cheated on......I would want to know, wouldn't you???.

    Answer by minnesotanice at 2:58 PM on Apr. 4, 2011