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Help with Crying It Out Please!

I have been in tears all day because crying it out is not working anymore! I have an almost 5 month old who we have been sleep training since he was 4 months. He was an absolute horrible sleeper. Up every hour sometimes just to be rocked. At our four month visit our doctor said it was time to let him cry it out. Well, we saw improvement on night number 3. But now we are two weeks in and it's gotten bad again. Up at 3 then up from 4:45 on. I have been letting him cry because I don't want to go backwards but I honestly can't stand to hear him cry night after night. This is clearly not working!

He is a horrible napper too...30-40 minutes and he is up. So I decided to let him cry for those as well and that is even more heartbreaking. He will cry for 20-30 minutes and then go back to sleep for maybe 10-20 because he is so exhausted. He is then so clingy and crabby that I can't put him down. I am starting to feel guilty and depressed. Should I throw in the towel on the whole idea of crying it out and accept that I have a kid who doesn't sleep well? He needs his sleep so I keep thinking he will get the hang of it but it's not happening! We have no day schedule because he just can't take good naps. I don't want to hear people bash cry it out so please just constructive advise would be great. What to do?

Any advice would be great!

Answer Question

Asked by magnoliababy at 3:02 PM on Apr. 4, 2011 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • That is much too long to let your baby cry. Comfort him!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:04 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • If you want, you can email me to eliminate the bashers :)

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 3:04 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • If your gut is telling you to stop then I think you should. Honestly, if it was going to work I think it would have by now. Your baby is still very young. My DD didn't sleep through the night until she was nearly a year. But from the time she was about 6 months until a year it gradually got better and she fell into good sleep patterns. I did a modified version of cry it out that I began at about 7 months old. I think you have to make the technique work for you and your child, and I was like you in that I could not just listen to her cry endlessly. We would have both just ended up completely frazzled. If you want to message me I can tell you how I modified cry it out to work for me. But I do think that if you're not feeling this is working and it's stressing you out then you should try something else. Trust your Mommy instincts.

    Answer by MaryMW at 3:08 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • I would take him to another doctor, there is something that is wrong with your little one. He is crying for a reason there is something wrong.

    Answer by stitchintime at 3:14 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • Look up other methods, stay persistent w your doctor to get other safe suggestions & there's also Google.

    Answer by shynu at 3:15 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • Have you tried a warm bath with lavender oil? maybe some camomile tea in a bottle. Add a little karo syrup to sweeten it and that will help him to sleep.

    Answer by stitchintime at 3:17 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • may be your baby is being over or under fed too! reason is either of the situation can cause stomach discomfort,
    secondly, dont let the baby sleep at least 4-5 hrs before yr bed time!

    Answer by doctormom2011 at 3:22 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • Not a fan of crying it out forever, but my son is 10 mths still wakes up twice, i just meet his needs, it will get better i keep telling myself it will get better. I don't rock him to sleep, i put him down and let him cry a bit i can tell when the cry is to the point of no return, then i wait another few min. and get him, i still dont hold him til he goes to sleep, i just assume he sin't tired yet and we try again in 30-45 min. 5mths is yng,, try different things and keep a notebook of his schedule, it does help thats what i had to do, maybe put a mirror or something in the crib to occupy him. Also if he is a back sleeper try his belly, that worked for my kids, it helped them sleep longer. Don't give up but also if hes crying too much, upsetting him probably wont help him get to sleep. Every parent knows when the cry is saying ok its time to get me.. listen for that cry. Good luck!

    Answer by JenzAmomOf2 at 3:26 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • Definitely check if he his hungry.

    Answer by Audrice1985 at 3:33 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • I dream feed him a good amount at 10:30/11:00 so I don't think he is hungry. He is strictly breastfed so I really don't know how much he is getting throughout the day but I feed him 5-6 times a day. I am giving up the crying it out for simply doesn't work and I have a miserable child and not to mention a miserable mom.

    I am so tired of these sleep books that promise 3-4 days and everything will be solved! It's bunk! I have to realize I cannot force my child to take naps, his limit is 40 minutes and "I" have to accept that this is not normal but it is my life for now:)

    Comment by magnoliababy (original poster) at 4:04 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

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