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How to explain to stepkids their "mom" is a lesbian.

My 3 stepkids who live with my husband and I full-time, have to spend the summer with their biological mom who abandoned them for a woman. My step son who is 9 knows that the woman his mom lives with is more than a friend. How do I explain this to him?


Asked by JLang at 3:02 PM on Apr. 4, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 6 (125 Credits)
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Answers (15)
  • i think as a custodial step mum the children often trust us more to answer the hard questions and i understand that other mum on here think the mum should answer but they often cant or want i always had to answer all the hard questions as my dh could not do it in a positive light . i find it hard to be nice about birth mum  at times but can always pull it off

    aas for the birth mum she allways made the mess and left me to clean it up


    Answer by feralkitten at 3:12 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • Its NOT your place to explain it to them. Its HER place.

    Answer by vbruno at 3:03 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • I think it's an issue that your hub and the bio mom need to address with the kids. I'd stay out of it.

    Answer by MommaKath1975 at 3:07 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • at 9 he prob know a lot more than you think he dose just tell him the truth your mum is gay

    Answer by feralkitten at 3:04 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • Well if it is a persistent question I would just leave it at how families are made up all different ways. Two mommies, tow daddies, Just a mommy, Step parents, sometimes grandparents raise the grand kids... It's how they decided to build their family. I would think this would be better coming from her but if the question is being addressed to you then it's only fair you give some sort of an answer.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 3:07 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • It’s the bio-mom responsibility to tell him don’t take that responsibility away from her.

    Answer by musicmom08 at 3:18 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • I agree it is not your place to explain anything. It's his moms that needs to explain it to him since it is her that is lesbian and can probably explain it better then you since it is her relationship

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 3:36 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • Yess it is definitely something he needs to talk to his mother about, not you. You dont want to overstep your boundaries by talking about there mother!

    Answer by TuckyGirl at 3:13 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • I wouldn't.. that is for her or their dad to do.. not my place!

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 3:15 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • i guess the best thing to say is just to out right tell them they might understand and if they dont trust me they will ask

    Answer by nicolia at 3:09 PM on Apr. 4, 2011