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How to move on when I love him so much?

My husband and I have been together for 7 years, we have a 5 yr old and a 2 yr old. There has been ALOT of ups and downs, we separated for about 9 months, and decided to try again. Well alot of things were found out after we got back together and I feel like I can't trust him. I love him with all my heart, and now were moving forward with our divorce. It's just me and the kids here now, and he'll be moving back to NY in June. I am choosing to stay here in KY...some of the decisions he made makes me not even want to be around my family! Now he is fighting for shared custody where he gets the kids 50% of the time, which is impossible when are son starts kindergarden this year! I just don't know what to do anymore! i feel lost and hopeless! When we got back together i fell back in love with him again, and he's such a butthole!

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TuckyGirl

Asked by TuckyGirl at 4:18 PM on Apr. 4, 2011 in Relationships

Level 6 (111 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • He can't have 50 percent custody if he is in NY. . . . he'll have to move back to KY.
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 4:20 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • Sorry youre having to go through this. I promise with time it does get better. :) Hugs
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 4:22 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • Just remember what a butthole he is. Sounds like hes using the kids as emotional blackmail since unless he is a bumbling idiot he would know shared custody is impossible.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 4:23 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • Dont worry about the custody issue, he wont win especially when he moves. In addition, we tend to look and remember only the good times after we break up. Remember the BAD and focus on what you didn't want or deserve and move forward....what doesn't kill you will make you stronger. Life doesn't end in divorce! Focus on your new life, new freedom and new YOU!
    BalooSkii

    Answer by BalooSkii at 4:23 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • I agree with the other ladies - how does he think he'll get 50 custody by moving out of state. Why do his decisions make you not want to be around your own family? Sounds like you are strong and just trying to move on based on all the info you have - trust me, you do get over them eventually and you'll look back on this time and wonder why you were ever so miserable. Hang in there. Be Strong.
    8Tinkerboo8

    Answer by 8Tinkerboo8 at 4:27 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • My heart goes out to you!! I know that you are hurting right now and prob. a little overwhelmed w/ what is going on, but the best thing you can do is focus on your kids, and the future right now. I know that it's hard, and there is nothing that anyone can say to make it hurt less or make it easier on you, but it honestly will get better. Don't dwell on things you can't change, move forward for you and your kids. Show your soon to be ex, your kids, and yourself, what a strong person you are by taking things one step at a time, but by taking as many of those steps in the direction of your future!! If that makes sense. I don't see a judge thinking that it's in your child's best interest to interupt his kindergarden yr. to shuffle him back and forth for joint custody. But he may. You just have to accept that, as hard as it will be. More than likely though, your children will spend summers and breaks w/ dad, and school yr w/ you.
    HappyEndings

    Answer by HappyEndings at 4:31 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • I truly wish you the best!! Hang in there hon.!!
    HappyEndings

    Answer by HappyEndings at 4:31 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • You deserve better and you need to keep telling yourself that. Let this make you stronger and as much as you love him, i promise in time it will get easier. Hugs:))
    gutterflower585

    Answer by gutterflower585 at 8:23 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • Thank you all....I found out while we were separated he went to NY on thanksgiving break, and slept with my sister...we started talking about a couple days after he did that. When he came back to KY he slept with me, and moved back in, it wasn't until the end of decemeber I found out what he had done. And I had already fell back in love with him. I know I'm an idiot for staying with him after that, and I didn't speak to my sister for many months! but eventually I just couldn't forget about it, which is why i decided to stay here in KY instead of going back to NY.

    My kids are all i have, and he says I use them as a crutch. Funny thing is while we were separated for 9 months the kids lived with me! and he barely saw them..he blamed it on having a second job!
    TuckyGirl

    Comment by TuckyGirl (original poster) at 12:00 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

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