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How did you handle two babies?

Ok I am soo proud to announce that I am pregnant with my second child! But being so happy also has some worries too, I have a toddler that has pretty much been the center of my world since the day I found out I was expecting her. Her step dad and I have been trying to explain to her that mommy has a baby in her tummy, and I know she doesnt fully understand shell bring baby dolls to my lap and say mommy -baby? I knwo it also confuses her when she sees me cry{ yea Im starting the lovely emtional part of random crying at really corny sappy stuff-yuck!} but shell ask me if im ok,and kiss me which lets me know she understands something is going on with mommy. I am not sure If ill let her be there at the hospital[im still thinking about that] but my question is has anyone had a really observant child and how did you help them understand that they now have a baby brother or sister once the baby gets here?

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Asked by bamamommy2009 at 4:37 PM on Apr. 4, 2011 in Pregnancy

Level 15 (2,271 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • First of all, congrats on your pregnancy. How old is your toddler? My experience is that my toddlers had a poor sense of time and really did not grasp that there was a baby in there until I was definitely showing. We talked about having a new baby, what babies do, what big brothers and sisters get to do and so forth, but really not until I was pretty far along. Before that, it was pretty much out of sight, out of mind to them. I really didn't get a lot of jealousy when we brought the new baby home... my son decided newborns were not much competition, but when through a phase when his sister started crawling where he hated her geting into his stuff. When she got old enough to walk, talk a bit, and follow directions, he decided she was okay after all. My dd was more tolerant when we had baby number three, but she is just a more laid back child anyhow. At 8, 6, and 4 they are all friends now!

    Answer by Freela at 4:45 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • I think that you are handling it quite well. (Congrats by the way!! :) ) I believe that she'll understand a lot better after the baby is born. Just keep her involved, because it's super easy for an only child to get jealous, when having to share mom and dad's attention!! Maybe read some books to her about becoming a big sister, and let her know how important her role will be!! My ds and dd are 2 yrs apart, almost exactly!! He was really excited about the new baby, even though he didn't know what was going on all that much. Afterwards when I came home w/ the baby he seemed to understand a lot better and adjusted. He still wants to be on mommy's lap and does try to get my attention, but he's so cute w/ her too!!

    Answer by HappyEndings at 4:46 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • Just talk to her about it, show her pictures of when she was a baby, my daughter loved that, and explain that mommy has another baby in her tummy, and she is going to be a big sister. Make a big deal of how great it is going to be for her to have a new sibling. And what she is going to be able to do, and how she will get to help mommy all the time, etc. Then when the baby comes, make sure you keep showing her that she is special, let her help in any way she can with the baby, spend as much one on one time with her, and point out all the things that she gets to do still that the baby cants so she still feels special. It will all work out, I remember being so worried about my daughter, but she is just fine, and her and her brother who is now two get along great and she is so excited about her next sibling. I worry more about my less observant little man with this one, because I am afraid its going to be a huge shock to him.

    Answer by -LovingMamma- at 4:55 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • You don't mention her age but make her your "big helper" by having her help get wipes, diapers, letting her pick out the baby's clothes, etc. You also can take her to lunch, to the park, or for ice cream and tell her that only big girls get to do that.......babies can not do that. Some of the best advice I ever got was to make it about the older child for a few weeks when the new baby is first home. And make sure you and your SO spend individual time with her to remind her how special she is. I wish you all the best!

    Answer by elizabr at 7:46 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

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