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why???

My husband never seems to want to do anything that means alot to me. and it isnt that hard like the things i want to do all i wanted to do tonight was go to the prade down town as a family but nope he isnt going to be back from deer hunting because he cant tell his buddies no i just want to go home to be with my family and he doesnt want to come with me and my daughter to get her picture taken with santa. He was always willing to but then all of a sudden he gets to go out and do shit alone. out of the past 5 months that my daughter was alive i havent seen a day alone and when i do get alone time to take a shower he comes in and bugs me. why is this

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dewey_scoles

Asked by dewey_scoles at 5:36 PM on Nov. 29, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • DUMP him, you will never, be happy with someone like him, he will never change. You may love him but you will become tired and self-destructive, WAY before he relizes how much you mean to him.
    collegemom1007

    Answer by collegemom1007 at 5:49 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • I'm going through the same thing myself...I just don't know what to do about it anymore..Honestly I have thought about leaving for a while to see how that would work out, but I'm scared that is what he wants, but is too scared to tell me...I hate that he misses so much...I've tried everything I could think of with him, but honestly don't think he will change...So where to go from here is my question now...Good luck momma..I hope everything works out for you.....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:17 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • He sounds like he's a typical good ole boy type that thinks that stuff is for females. Mine would never do that kind of stuff with us either. Sad. He missed out on a lot.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:44 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • i agree with admckenzie. mine isnt interested in "women's work" ha. you might have to do what i did, and demand that he help out. after a long heart to heart talk... he came around.
    IGotLuckyInKy

    Answer by IGotLuckyInKy at 7:02 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • he doesn't seem to get the message of how important it is to you and is taking you and your daughter for granted. this is what i would do. i would go back home for a week or two and not tell him a word. when you see him get upset and start thinking that he is going to loose you then say hey i want this in my marriage and i'm not getting it. so either somethings have got to change or the only thing changing is me, right out of your life. i know it's mind games but sometimes just talking isn't getting them to grasp the truth. emotions have a strong impact on words unheard.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 7:14 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • I agree with collegemom - dump him. Aman shouldnt have to be begged or demanded to do something with his family. He should want to do it, and put his family before all else. JMO
    rocketgirl22

    Answer by rocketgirl22 at 10:00 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • My husband was the same way. He never seemed to want to come home when the baby was little because of all the crying and he just didnt know what to do with him. He always stayed late at work drinking or went on fishing trips and stuff like that. When he would get home from work or on his day off I would ask him for help or see if he would watch the baby so I could take a nap, but he would always say its my day off and I just want to relax. But its like where the hell is MY DAY OFF!!! I dont think they understand that our job is 24 hours a day with no lunch time or break time or day off. Finally my son is 1 and isnt so hard to manage and he said that beforehe was almost scared of him and didnt know what to do with him and now that he's older he can play with him and interact.
    SarahShirey

    Answer by SarahShirey at 3:20 PM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • CONT:
    I just gave up and accepted that this was who I chose to marry and I have to live with my choices, also being scared to be alone and actually leave him. But things finally worked out how they were meant to be. He's helping out more and honestly seems to enjoy spending time with his son now, playing ball and watching sports and stuff. Don't give up hope, talk it out, and pray that things will get better
    SarahShirey

    Answer by SarahShirey at 3:23 PM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • My DH is the same way about hunting. I have adopted the name "whitetail widow". He is gone from sun up to sun down most days (when he's not working). This year has been a little better because I told him that I could not live like that another year. He has come home and not gone at all when I told him there were family things we needed to do. He has still been a little selfish this year, but it's better than it has been. I think if it is something you absolutely can't live with, tell him and give him the chance to change. I'm just glad it doesn't last all year! :o)
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 6:35 PM on Nov. 30, 2008

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