I had my oldest son when I was 20, he'll be 24 at the end of the month.
My oldest has lived with his grandparents, and lived with my current hubby & I, and moved out a couple of times. He's got a college diploma he doesn't use, and gets jobs and gets fired or quits or just doesn't show up.
About six months ago his *online* girlfriend moved in with him and we were hoping that would really give him some kind of connection and motivation but nope :(
DS doesn't really seem to ever show emotions. He's never had a girlfriend or even a relationship with anyone until Jess showed up. He's got no friends unless they're online or his brother. We've taken him out to meet and greets, dinners etc where the are others ranging from his age to ours, tried to encourage him to get out and do things, meet people ect.
When he was living with us, he's be in his room 99% of time. Sleep most of the day, roll over and have his computer beside his bed. To say it nicely, he's a damn pig. His room would stink, his hygeine stinks and we'd tell him, our house, our rules - CLEAN UP.
When Jess was there, the place was just as bad, I couldn't even go IN it or I'd puke from the smell and mess, but I figured he's a adult, it's his business.
Anyways, he got fired, expected to go on welfare. Jess was there for six months, brought some money with her but didn't find a job, or go on welfare. Her parents finally got fed up and came and got her 2 weeks ago. My son acts like he doesn't care.
It's the 4th already and he owes $300 rent from last month, plus $500 for this month. He was turned down for welfare as he made money in March. He is doing job interviews but even if he gets hired it will take a few weeks for the first check.
I told him about a month ago, not to expect to just move back in here with us, which he just said *ok* to. Meanwhile he has no plan, and doesn't even seem to care? The other day he went to welfare, went home and went for a NAP!!!! (I had told him to go to the youth center and advocacy center)
I just don't know what to do with him. I know *tought love* and our stance is that he's not moving back in, but bottom line is, we can't let him end up on the street.
Asked by Anonymous at 7:59 PM on Apr. 4, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)
Answer by princessbeth79 at 8:02 PM on Apr. 4, 2011
YES YOU CAN LET HIM ON THE STREETS!!!!! he is young and strong, but his behind is lazy and in the back of his mind he knows mom and dad will support him. he needs to get- and- keep a damn job. do not enable him. there are senior citizens with all their aches and pains who work their tails off, sometimes they work 2 jobs...so your healthy son can do it too!!! he is lazy and unmotivated.
Answer by gwen20 at 8:04 PM on Apr. 4, 2011
Answer by Anonymous at 8:04 PM on Apr. 4, 2011
Answer by princessbeth79 at 8:07 PM on Apr. 4, 2011
Answer by twinsplus2more at 8:07 PM on Apr. 4, 2011
Answer by Anonymous at 8:13 PM on Apr. 4, 2011
Answer by ShelbyShareAlot at 8:21 PM on Apr. 4, 2011
Answer by bcauseimthemom at 8:23 PM on Apr. 4, 2011
Next question in Adult Children (18+)
Why do I let my daughter at college stress me out?