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2 Bumps

Would you ever ......have a baby with a friend

a friend of mine came to me and asked me if i would have his baby....hes not gay or anything but he really wants a baby ... of course I would still be the mother but he wants to be a daddy so bad and he has very bad luck with females ..he's a great guy and would be a great dad but i just dont know if im willing to do that ..he wants to raise the baby together but we are just going to remain friends..i wouldnt mind it because im single but want another one so my daughter already wont be an only child (btw we both love kids) ..were planning to move into together this year just as room mates but im kind of in the minddle about it ..what do you guys think

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amiyamom08

Asked by amiyamom08 at 8:36 PM on Apr. 4, 2011 in Relationships

Level 5 (74 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Wow....That's difficult. I think you really need to think about it and be sure that you can handle it and that it's what you want. But, you are both adults and if you think you can both handle it, then go for it.
    TARARENEE

    Answer by TARARENEE at 8:39 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • Y'all planning on conceiving the old fashion way, or by invetro? Cuz having sex may end up y'all fallin' in love. Just sayin'.
    hopeandglory53

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 8:42 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • I believe having sex with him might cause some feelig then tension because of your afterwards friend status between you two . I thi k it should be something you both need to think about . Has he thought of adobtion?
    Monidiegoarturo

    Answer by Monidiegoarturo at 8:44 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • concieving the old fashion way ...and falling in love ..i dont think so ..weve been good friends since the nineth grade ..I never looked at him like that ..and probaly never will ...we will be great parents together but were like best friends..the situation is different but it very much workable ..the baby will be greatly loved and cared for ..i just dont know of anyone who has done that
    amiyamom08

    Comment by amiyamom08 (original poster) at 8:48 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • If you're not 100% for it, don't do it. You have to look down the line: It might be ok now, while you're on good terms and living together and can both see the child and be a part of the child's life...but what happens if you have a falling out? If one of you wants to move out on your own? If you or he becomes involved in an outside relationship? The way you've put it here, he would have custody, but would you be willing to sign that away at birth? Or would it become a battle later on? How would you feel if your child, in whom you will have invested a lot of time and emotion, is taken away from you, however gently?

    Personally, I think you're a little too close to the situation, or that's how I would feel if it were me. I'm sure he came to you because he's very comfortable around and you thinks a lot of you, and that would make things easier, but you seem too involved, especially planning to continue as "just friends".
    DragonRiderMD

    Answer by DragonRiderMD at 8:51 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • @ dragonrider md ..i understand but it wouldnt be anything like that ....we would be like regular parents but our staues would be just friends...i
    amiyamom08

    Comment by amiyamom08 (original poster) at 8:58 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • I would, in a heartbeat. In fact, the subject has come up more than once with my best friend/roommate. I have a hard time imagining myself in a relationship, though I'd love to have another baby, and I trust him more than most people... so he knows that if he ever decides he wants one (he's 25 and not really ready to grow up) I'll be here for him. He's not much for relationships either... but we both know we want kids (another one for me and one for him) later on.

    If you decide to do this, just be careful. I think it's a really great "new age" thing to do. :P
    AdensMama0308

    Answer by AdensMama0308 at 9:04 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • lightbulbyou will just be a baby mama for the 2nd time. why would you want that ? i sure would not agree with this arrangement .. i would fel like a pez dispenser.

    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 9:07 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • What comes to mind is, what if you two don't get along and he moves out. Who will get the baby? I could see this turning very ugly if things go wrong. If you think living together and sharing a child is something you can handle, especially if one or both of you find someone you love, how would that be worked out? The idea of having a baby in fantasy is great, it's the real life stuff that's a real killer.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 11:20 AM on Apr. 5, 2011

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