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3 Bumps

How to I tell my friend her house and yard are really disgusting?

I went over to my friends house for the first time in several years. The yard had broken glass and nails..loads of junk. The house smelled of dog in a really bad way. She has clothes all over the place. When I left I felt so gross like I needed a bath. I really care alot about my friend and I never remember her home being so nasty. I feel guilty that I feel the way I do. Should I just be quiet and say nothing or tell her politely she should do something to better her living conditions. She has teenagers no small children.....

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:43 PM on Apr. 4, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I don't know if you can say anything . . . . without hurting her feelings. But, if she ever mentions needing to clean, drop what you are doing and go to help!

    And, if you have small children, you could always say, "Why don't you come over here . .. I worry a little at your house that the kids could get into the glass and stuff." That'll get the point across.
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 9:50 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • I am sure she knows.. She is either a hoarder, has depression or just no longer cares.. You may be able to ask her if she would like help cleaning her house if you are worried.. She maybe so overwhelmed she has just let it go because she doesn't know where to begin..
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 9:50 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • If her house never looked that before, has something happened to her or in her life that has made her just not care anymore? I don't know if you should say anything, it would depend on so many things. Is she a really close friend that you say anything too? Does she get offended easily? You could always ask if she would want help with any spring cleaning. That is a sticky situation. Sometimes if they are ok with it you will have to be also if you want to go there to see her.
    HeidisMom800

    Answer by HeidisMom800 at 10:01 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • I agree with imaginationmama. Try to do it subtly. I might say something like "damn girl...use your child labor in your yard!"
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 10:07 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • I would want someone to tell me...
    ElenaC419

    Answer by ElenaC419 at 9:47 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • I think you just need to bring it up point blank, but gently. Perhaps ask if she needs help, that her home wasn't like that. Ask her if something is wrong. Try to be a soft place for her, but still let her know she needs to clean it up. Like a pp said, I would want someone to tell me, and I guarantee you she is overwhelmed and doesn't know where to start.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 10:36 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • Talk to her and see whats going with her then try to help her clean up.
    mamaofficer

    Answer by mamaofficer at 10:37 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • tell her nicely...hell suggest the teenagers do there share too....
    michaux

    Answer by michaux at 10:45 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

  • just tell her...
    iNk-FrEaK

    Answer by iNk-FrEaK at 12:04 AM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • She should get her lazy teenagers to help clean that haus...
    smiley745

    Answer by smiley745 at 1:32 AM on Apr. 5, 2011

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