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7 Bumps

MIL has pic of ex with hubby

I love my hubby, but i am trying to find a nice way to tell him that i feel uncomfortable at his mom's house. see she has pics of him with his ex wife and kids up all over the place. even in the room we sleep in when we visit her. dont get me wrong i have no problem with the kids pics but really pics of her. my hubby acts like it dont bother him. am i over reacting. she even still calls her her DIL while im just her son's 2cd wife.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:25 AM on Apr. 5, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (19)
  • Don't let it bother you. She is the mother of her grandchildren. If it bothers you so much gets pics of you and hubby with the kids and give them to her maybe that may hint to change out the old ones.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 12:27 AM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • Thats the problem my ex husband and his wife has with his whole family...You see i divorce my ex but i never divorced his family...I love them and i still call him mom up 1st for advise or just to talk...His mom calls me her daughter...His sisters kids still call me aunt and his new wife wants to die she band him from talking to his family till they turn there backs on me...Well she is so mistaken cuz my kids have a right to see everyone getting along...
    And if my husband now has no problem i do not see why anyone would have one...
    iNk-FrEaK

    Answer by iNk-FrEaK at 12:31 AM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • You have to understand that she still has love for her. My parents are divorced and my mom's mother still has love for my father even though my parents are divorced. Also they are family photos with children in them. I say just don't let it get to you.
    momavanessa

    Answer by momavanessa at 12:32 AM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • Honestly, my mother has pics of my son, his father and even pics of me with the both of them hanging up in the hallway and in my son's room. She does it for my son. I don't disagree. I know it probably makes my bf uncomfortable, but in reality.. its my mother's house. Not mine. Maybe it's disrespectful? I don't really know. I just don't feel I have a right to tell my mom how to decorate her house. Now, if my mom was talking about my son's father all the time and bringing up "memories" or something than heck yea, I would tell her to stuff it, but its just pictures. My son enjoys seeing pics of all 3 of us together. No matter, he's his father & that's reality. NOW I don't have any pics in the room we stay in. That's uncomfortable. I would probably mention that to him. Maybe take them down when you are visiting and just don't tell the MIL ? lol that would be extremely uncomfortable. Good Luck !!!
    loudnproud87

    Answer by loudnproud87 at 12:33 AM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • She is the mother of her Grandkids. Don't let it bug you, give her pictures of you guys.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 12:36 AM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • thank you all i never thought about it that way. and i dont let it bother me that often. but now im seeing outside the box. so thank you again.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:36 AM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • My DH and his ex don't have kids, and I STILL get to see pics of her all over the house! Same with my SIL's ex boyfriends. It's just how they are. They actually still see her periodically. It took me quite awhile to accept. It's their house, but I still don't love it. You might say something to your DH about it, and maybe some of the pics will go away that include her, but the kids should still be displayed, as those are their grandkids! Your DH should definitely say something about her still being their DIL, as that's definitely disrespectful toward you. They should just be calling her by her name. It may take some conversation to get your Hubby to understand why this makes you uncomfortable, but I'm with you- the pics of her and such shouldn't be everywhere.
    musicpisces

    Answer by musicpisces at 12:37 AM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • Your MIL might still feel connected to his exwife. Just because your husband and her divorced doesn't mean she's not apart of the family anymore. It's not your husband you need to bring this up with, it's his mom. She may feel like his exwife is still her daughter in law. Those are family pictures to her it appears and she may want them around. They're only pictures in your MIL's house. You should be concerned if your husband still had framed pictures of him and his exwife laying around. Otherwise, it's just your MIL's view of family photos and the way I see it, it's not that big of a deal. If you're uncomfortable or have an issue with it then your MIL is who you should direct that to. It's her house, they're her photographs, so she should be the one to talk to. Not your husband.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:37 AM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • I only saw one picture of DH, his ex, and my SD. It was at his grandfather's house. They took it down, because DH didn't appreciate it. DH and his ex were married for less than a year before they separated, and 7 months of that he was in Iraq. His family knew his ex when they were dating off and on, but she was never "family" to them. My SIL still has her kids call his ex "Aunt *name*", even though the kids never knew her as their aunt, and even though they were 1 and newborn when they split...

    As for you just being the second wife, that's BS. Yes, you are his second wife, but you are HIS WIFE. She is no longer his wife, so if she actually refers to you like that (like "This is his second wife." I'd most definitely have a problem.
    laird6372

    Answer by laird6372 at 1:05 AM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • when I met my husband he had this HUGE picture of him, his daughter and her mother I never thought anything of it because that was her mom. A person should never be bothered by pics of their spouse with his kids and their mom
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 1:15 AM on Apr. 5, 2011

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