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9 Bumps

I love my daughter but...

I just found out that I am pregnant and my daughter isn't even a year old yet! My husband and I have had a rough last few years; we don't even know if we are going to stay together much longer. I'm depressed about being pregnant and I feel like a horrible mother, I'm just not ready for another baby. I don't want to be pregnant...what would you do?
Obviously I am keeping the baby but...I'm lost.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:21 AM on Apr. 5, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • I'm in the same situation. The best advice I can give you is to seek the help of a therapist. The results differ but at least you will be able to express what's on your mind to someone who won't judge you. I am still at the point where I don't want the child and he'll be here in a week but talking to a therapist helped me out a lot because I was going to do somethings that were not healthy for myself or my six year old daughter. Good Luck to you sweet heart. I'm sorry you're in this situation!!!
    prissysayshi

    Answer by prissysayshi at 2:02 AM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • :( I'm sorry. That can't be the best situation to be in, but everything will be alright. Try to remember how much you love DD, and realize that you'll love this new little one just as much! A child is a beautiful thing, and no matter what you are going through, this child will bring joy into your life. Try to focus on the positive.
    DusterMommy

    Answer by DusterMommy at 1:27 AM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • i was in that same exact situation, but with 2 kids and finding out i was pregnant with my third. abortion was not an option for me and adoption wasn't something i could do, so now my little guy is a year old and even though i had a VERY VERY rough time with my husband, i learned to live with him and i think i can say that we're happier now. as much as i hated the way things were with my husband, i had to build my tolerance for him and i think we're doing better as a family because of it. but oh man... i was in tears when that pregnancy test read "positive". but with patience, things will sort theselves out or you will find a more definite answer to what you need to do. good luck mama, and congratulations!
    rAbella

    Answer by rAbella at 1:36 AM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • Just telling my story but trying not to tell you what to do. When I found out I was pregnant a second time I was scared to death, but a little excited as well, although I have to say it was the most stressful 9 months of my life! It was just as the recession was starting and I felt like I was bringing another baby into a bad place. I decided to have her anyway and I am so glad I did. She is the sweetest kid I have ever met. She puts a smile on everyone face and has even changed a few peoples lives. I feel she has become my hero, I know hard to believe a two year old being a hero but she is one of the happiest, most loving people I have ever met. I was in the same place as you so I know how you feel, but whatever you decide is right for you IS right for you.
    dragonqueen

    Answer by dragonqueen at 4:02 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • I'm sorry you are in this situation..... if you can't work it out you can make it! It is scary, trust me I understand, but you can do it! Please keep us updated!
    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 1:44 AM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • My sister's a single mom of 3. She was really depressed w the last one. Us, her family, comforted & helped her a lot.#3 just turned 3 & my sister just got her own place on her own w the kids. So it will take lots of time & strength. But, women were built tough! ;-) I have faith. I'll keep you in my prayers. God Bless!
    shynu

    Answer by shynu at 2:21 AM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • First and foremost, I would take care of myself. I'd seek the advice of a counselor, therapist, whatever to deal with my own issues. (I'm doing that now, but I'm 55 and do not have to worry about pregnancy anymore.) Then I would, if you haven't done so already encourage my husband to do the same. After that, it's time for joint sessions once you both know your own feelings and are able to discuss them openly and honestly. Stop putting all the pressure on yourself; you didn't get pregnant by yoursefl! I don't condone abortions so I am glad you're choosing to keep the baby. Now concentrate on keeping your sanity, a positive perspective on life, what's best for your other little one, then on your marriage. It will be difficult, but with proper help, you can do! Never underestimate the power of being a woman! Good luck!
    rosiemendo

    Answer by rosiemendo at 7:43 AM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • I feel for you, I was a single mother at age 18, then 2 months before my dd's first bday, I found out I was prego again. No one wants to be a single mother, but sometimes that's just how life works out sometimes. It sucks, and i'm sorry you have to deal with the pressure of that. I would certainly try counseling for you and your DH, and try to keep the marriage alive, do new things, go new places, take your DD to the park with your DH, do family things. But most of all, focus on your kids and yourself. I wish you all the best.
    knicole0708

    Answer by knicole0708 at 10:17 AM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • Gosh you girls make me cry, a happy cry that is! I love CM! My mom always told me, God will never give you more than you can handle. And well I've been low low low but still chugging along with my kids, and our kids are all the motivation we need!
    yesmaam

    Answer by yesmaam at 4:07 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • i had my daughter a month before i turned 19 and i was so excited for her. it was hard but she was my world. anyways i started back at work when she was about 8 months old and i found out i was pregnant right before her 1st birthday. i was so upset i really thought about an abortion. me and my SO were not doing good, financially we were struggaling and it just wasnt the right time. i wasnt even sure i wanted another baby EVER. i was so depressed i didnt tell anybody i was pregnant untill i was almost 6 months along. it was really bad i couldnt do adoption. im not a person that can knowingly have a baby out there and not take responsibility for it. anyways i had him but my whole pregnancy was really hard and i just wasnt excited. i can tell you hes almost two and that little boy means the absolute world to me. it can be the worst day ever and i look at him and see his smile and i couldnt be happier. CONT....
    adriana1024

    Answer by adriana1024 at 1:51 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

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