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Was I out of line with DS's after care provider?

My son is a normal 6 year old kindergartener, but sometimes he has difficulty in school with talking, fidgeting etc,,,everyday he goes to an afterschool program, and everday for the past 3 months his after care teacher has some complaint about him,,,I spoken to his regular teacher, and she said that although a boy, my son is a delight for her to teach. I was to the point I even asked a question on here if I should have him tested for ADD. Well, last Friday came and when I picked up my son he started crying in the car, and said the after care teacher stood him up in front of the other kids, and said Don't act like Billy because he shouldn't be in Kindergarten, he needs to stay in preschool because he can't shut up! I rolled back in and asked to speak to her, I said does he ever do anything right, she said no,, I went to the principle yesterday, and filed a complaint, she was shocked that he was embarassed that way, she also said that my son is one of the best students they have, although relieved, was really mad that she was picking on him, I have sat in just to observe, and can't see a problem other than being 6. Yesterday, when I came, she said he was "somewhat better".. I held up my hand, and she continued on that she thought I should not have informed the principal, I asked my son to wait in the hall, and I let her have it, I said I know that he will misbehave as all kids, but do you realize you have never said 1 nice thing about him? I will expect to from now on that I will hear the things he did right, as well as wrong....I can't pick him up and we only have a month left of school, do you think I should have just shut up,,,,now from 3;30 until I pick him up, I wonder what she is treating him like!

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kimigogo

Asked by kimigogo at 9:45 AM on Apr. 5, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 37 (91,454 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • I would have done the same thing. he is a KID and he is excited, if she wants to make an example out of him and cause him to have the negative attention of his peers she shouldn't be working there.
    zoejains_momma

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 9:48 AM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • omg i'da let her have it too...in a christian way of course lol. but yes you were totally in the right, good for you to make a complaint. i can't believe a teacher would act that way. she should get fired. i'm assuming she doesn't have any kids?
    armywife43

    Answer by armywife43 at 9:48 AM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • bravo!!
    if you don't have other arrangements, you're kinda stuck. but just be sure you confront her on a regular basis. and continue to talk to her superior about her attitude. i'm wondering if she does this to another child, as well. my bet is she does.
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 9:48 AM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • No, you were right to say something! I would never stand for that- I don't care if she is his teacher or after school provider or even his doctor! You don't let your child be treated like that. Do you know how many problems that could cause later? The mentality of "I never do anything right so why should I even try?" May kick in.

    Let her have it. And don't feel bad one bit, mama!
    meandrphoto

    Answer by meandrphoto at 9:49 AM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • I don't think you were out of line at all, and I think you should file a formal complaint. Maybe request a class change as well. Kudos Mama!
    luv.my.kids.365

    Answer by luv.my.kids.365 at 9:50 AM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • It isn't right and i would have flipped out as well. Just be mindful that she still is his teacher and he has to deal with her everyday, be sure she dont continue being mean to him because she's mad at you. She sounds VERY unprofessional and i'd put nothing past her. At least he is 6 and can tell you what happens in school. Also be sure he don't milk this, and play the 2 of you against each other.. kids are crazy smart. "No mommy i was an angel, shes mean" be careful! Good luck!
    JenzAmomOf2

    Answer by JenzAmomOf2 at 9:51 AM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • I think you did the right thing. This makes me remember when I was in 3rd grade and my teacher made an example of me in front of the class....so similar except that it was because I couldn't get my books out of my desk drawer. It was stuck. She blamed me and made me put my desk in the corner and told the class that I was a messy kid because my desk drawer was stuck...and that they should not be like me. Of course,most f the class made fun of me---they were encouraged by the teacher. Bullies.I cried ,sitting in the corner, and at night I started walking in my sleep ...so my Dad talked to the principle about the issue. The teacher was reprimanded but I have not been comfortable with teachers since then. It can scar a kid.


    Good luck with your little guy.

    minnesotanice

    Answer by minnesotanice at 9:58 AM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • Good for you Mama!
    Kimedbs

    Answer by Kimedbs at 10:17 AM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • yet another reason i'm considering homeschooling...
    armywife43

    Answer by armywife43 at 10:19 AM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • First, after school programs are not an extension of the school day...if he is a little louder or rowdier than he would be in a classroom, well...its after school. I have a 5 year old and have taught kindergarten as a substitute before finding my permanent position, and there is a big difference between kids that can't handle sitting for hours (which is normal at that age) and outright disrespectful where you can tell they have no standards of behavior or consequences at home. Yours sounds like the former.

    You talked with the principal, and it sounds like she agreed with you, you let the lady know you were unhappy, there is nothing more you can do but trust that it at minimum wont get worse and that she will at least know that you DO find out about what she does and that you WILL report what she is doing. That ought to snap her behavior into line while you're gone. I still wouldn't expect glowing reports though.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 10:26 AM on Apr. 5, 2011

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