Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Feeling guilty

My dd goes for her 4 month check up today its the same time as one of my class. I would try to get an appointment for a later date but I will get penalize for changing dates(dd's doctor runs a tight ship after so many canceling and not showing up she refuses to see you). I asked my sister a month in advance would she be able to take dd and I would pay her. She agreed since she don't have a job. Yesterday I get a called from my mom going off on me because I can't take my child to the doctor myself. I explained that this is my last class in this course and we have a special guest speaker talking and I need to be there. Am I wrong for not going to my dd check-up? DH is at work (only one working). Should I just not go to class? I just feel terrible about the whole situation.


Asked by Anonymous at 9:48 AM on Apr. 5, 2011 in Babies (0-12 months)

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Do not feel guilty! Oh my goodness, the important thing is that you are getting your daughter to her appointment on time and taking care of her needs. She is never going to remember who took her. Your mother is being irrational. She should never try to make you feel like a bad mother either, that's uncalled for.

    You could write down the questions you want to ask the doctor and ask your sister if she would ask him and write down the answers of it would make you feel better. There really is no sense in beating yourself up though, I'm sure you are a wonderful mom and you will just have to remember this experience for later in life so you don't repeat it with your daughter.

    I know my mom makes me feel guilty about things sometimes and it makes the guilt 10x worse because a mother is someone you are supposed to look up to. Keep your chin up and cherish all the special times you get to have with your precious little girl.

    Answer by 08MrsAllen at 1:44 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • oh please. you asked someone you trust [i hope] to take your daughter to her doctors appt because she needs to have one and you need to go to class. i see no harm. it's already bad enough you probly feel guilty for not being able to be there for her while she's getting her shots, your mom doesn't need to put more guilt on you. you're the mom, you can make decisions that you think is best.

    Answer by armywife43 at 9:52 AM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • that is a tough one, I think I would just go.

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 9:50 AM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • i think its ok if its just a run of the mill check up and you have no concerns for ur daughter right now.. if theyre just gonna weigh her and take her height and give her a shot i think ur sister is capable of taking her so u can make your class... dont worry about it

    Answer by zperez0809 at 9:53 AM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • if your Dr is unwilling to accomodate your schedule, find a new doctor.

    Answer by malkaTZ at 9:53 AM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • I remember feeling like this with my first. Three kids later, I honestly don't think it's a big deal if you miss this appointment. Unless she has any developmental problems or their are genuine concerns you have, you should try to go. Otherwise, they will just give her a general physical and shots and she will be fine! Hope this helps!

    Answer by khedy at 9:55 AM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • The important thing is that your daughter goes to her checkup, not who takes her. You're not a bad parent or wrong in any way to ask your sister to take her. Your mom is overreacting and being kind of ridiculous over this. If your sister is willing to take your daughter then allow her to take her. Don't feel guilty, because there's nothing to feel guilty over. Don't let your mom get to you, because as I said it's that she gets to her appointment not who takes her.

    Just make a list of things that you want your sister to mention and a brief explination.. If there's anything. And have your sister write down any important information.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:20 AM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • I think your sis taking her is fine, its hard not being there and you would if you could, but school is important and if there is no way to squeeze in both then you did the right thing!!

    Answer by JenzAmomOf2 at 9:54 AM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • can someone video the class so you can watch it and take your baby to the doctor?

    Answer by annanonnymommy at 9:58 AM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • You had this all fixed up already. Your mom is being ridiculous, as is your doctor's office. If you are able, I would change doc offices after this appointment.

    I was just thinking...I recently found out the my doctor's staff was making decisions he knew nothing about. I told them I wanted to leave a message for him and would not talk to anyone else. Two days later he called, when I told him why I was thinking of leaving and why, he was shocked at their behavior. Things have been much better now.

    Answer by ochsamom at 10:01 AM on Apr. 5, 2011