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Is putting up with a husband who emotionally abuses you and would rather pay the insurance than buy the family food worth staying with?

He doesn't come to bed at all, couldn't tell you the last time he's touched me, puts up a front around other people, what more can I say?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:14 AM on Jul. 10, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (38)
  • Why are you still with him? You deserve to be happy & treated with respect!
    crazysocks830

    Answer by crazysocks830 at 12:23 AM on Jul. 10, 2008

  • That's a good question! I guess because of the kids. I don't know anymore. Plus, with that front, it makes me look bad and I would look even worse if I left. ;(
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 AM on Jul. 10, 2008

  • Why stay?? Ur kids are seeing your unhappiness. I think it would be better to leave. Dont worry about how you come off looking, you know whats really going on.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:39 AM on Jul. 10, 2008

  • Get out of that relationship now, the kids see the lack of love and its more hurtful for them than not having him around. You don't want to set the wrong example for them and have them growing up and thinking that this kind of relationship is ok do you? I don't blame you but hun he is no good for you! I wish you the best of luck in finding a better man.
    JustinScottsMom

    Answer by JustinScottsMom at 12:42 AM on Jul. 10, 2008

  • Truth be known, I guess I'm afraid to leave. I told him one time that I was thinking about leaving with the kids, and he said that would be kidnapping.... Idk, but I don't want to find out the hard way. He hasn't always been this way. At least, not this bad. My daughter told me one day I should just leave and she's only 11. Plus, they adore their dad.
    UGH!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:44 AM on Jul. 10, 2008

  • Not buying food is certainly neglect and being an irresponsible provider. Abuse of any kind doesn't need to be tolerated. If you think the marriage can be saved with counseling then by all means try but it won't hurt to call the local domestic violence shelter and ask what resources are available to you if you choose to leave him. I'm sure they'd at least get you food. That's more than what he's doing. Sad testimony for a husband and father. I have a group for women in abusive relationships if you are interested or need moral support.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:47 AM on Jul. 10, 2008

  • If your 11 year old is already seeing it then hun something needs to be done ASAP, my father took me from my mother when I was 2 months old and my mom called the cops on him when they found my dad that day they asked him if he was the father on my birth certificate and he said yes, well then they told my mom that they could do nothing about it and they would have to fight it out in court, maybe talk to a local police officer and see what they say, surely you wouldn't get charged with kidnapping kids women leave men everyday and take their kids with them.
    JustinScottsMom

    Answer by JustinScottsMom at 1:06 AM on Jul. 10, 2008

  • Hun, leaving him with the kids , or seperating even for a time, is not kidnapping. You're not divorced, so like he knows what he's talking about. The Bible even speaks of the responsiblities of a husband to be the provider of the family. He should know that his resposibility is the family to provide food, shelter and clothing, essentials. Nowadays, there's auto maintance, bills, meds and health and so on. Yet, maybe a budget can be set up, if that's what's needed, to ensure proper care for your family. But leaving auto isn't always the answer, talking first, commnication and then if needed, take over the finances. That's what I had to do, some men just don't understand that word. Stand up to him if need be at home, without disrespecting him and firmly tell him what's what. Hope this helps.
    JafraMom

    Answer by JafraMom at 1:17 AM on Jul. 10, 2008

  • You guys are super! I wish I could reveal myself. He says I'm not looking out for the family, because I would rather buy food. I don't work right now, but not because I'm not trying. It's because right now, work would do nothing but pay childcare. And when we start arguing about money, it's like he rubs it in my face that I'm not working. I have had some health problems recently and just haven't worked anymore. It has nothing to do with being lazy. It's depressing. I dread him being here and we all just about walk on eggshells when he's around.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:20 AM on Jul. 10, 2008

  • Also,he has family members who would probably give me hell in a handbasket if I left him and would probably try to keep me from having my kids. I'm a big chicken I guess. Helllppp!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:36 AM on Jul. 10, 2008

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