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3 Bumps

Do you tell your daughters....

That dating is the courting stage... that this is when men are on their BEST behavior?  That if a man acts questionable while dating that it will NOT change with a ring, that he will NOT behave better the longer your with him?

I have always told my daughters this... yet I keep reading the saddest posts of women complaining about the jerks they are married to, and when you question them they say they were like this when they were dating.  WHY are there so many uneducated women when it comes to love???

PLEASE I beg you... talk to your daughters.  Im new to this site and I am disgusted with some of the women I am meeting on here.  They make the most horrible choices and now there are children involved in the chaos.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:07 PM on Apr. 5, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (14)
  • My daughter is 3months old, so I haven't told her that yet. But yes. I agree. I have never understood why women think a man is going to "get better" or change or anything once they get married... That said, even with that knowledge, some women will make mistakes. And so will some men! There are lousy choices on both sides of the coin.
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 1:10 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • Yes, but that works both ways. Women tend to be on their "best behavior" in the courting stage too. They seem more open, more willing, more accepting of things they really aren't ok with when marriage comes around. Until we all raise our kids to stop trying to impress others and to just be ourselves ALL OF THE TIME- this is what we get.
    meandrphoto

    Answer by meandrphoto at 1:10 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • Ive talked to my daughters about this and also that moving in with a boy is wrong ect ect and my 18 year old up and did this she isnt even done with highschool yet. However she is 18 and there is nothing I can do although it breaks my heart. Sometimes even with all the talking and being a good parent they have to go through their own trials and tribulations to make them smarter.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 1:10 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • I suppose if I had sons I would do the same... and I agree. I guess I was reacting to some of the things I have been reading on this site. But agreed that there are lousy women too.

    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:12 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • No, I haven't told my daughters 3 & 6 this. But sounds like sound advice.
    DevilInPigtails

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 1:13 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • I have a 21 yr old dd and she had made poor choices, but they were hers. Like you yes I told her all those things, and maybe more. I had her at 18 so we in my eyes grew up together. But there is alot more influence out there besides us moms, who lets face it, by the time the girls are teens they think we arent cool and we dont know what were talking about. I dont know if its the day and age we live in, or what but there is alot of want for drama and to find someone to change. Like searching for a life mission? Thankfully even though my dd made choices I didnt want for her, she is happy, stable, and has a husband who loves her. Do I wish he was a better man or I guess someone I could have chose? Sure! But what we want for our kids and what they want are often two different things. As long as they are happy that is what matters most.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 1:22 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • "As long as they are happy that is what matters most."

    I made this based on ALL the unhappy posts I have read.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:02 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • I agree with educating but not many teens listen. lol I will talk to my dd about this but she has to learn from her own mistakes. Even as an adult I may know better but still slip up here and there. Its life and sometimes its rough. I get what you're saying though! I too get annoyed with those questions. But at the same time I know what its like to be naive. No matter what the age. NAIVE is def the KEY word here....sadly enough
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 6:43 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • Because I am young and have actually had this discussion with my mother I wanted to say that A LOT of "girls" think that "dating" means your together I even have a 13 year old cousin who says she's in love with her boyfriend and have only been with him for almost 5 months. I took the courting thing in mind I believe that dating and being with someone are two COMPLETELY different things. But like I said a lot of girls and some women actually don't understand that. And the ones that do are the coolest mom's and the best dad's!!!!
    HypoHeartBaby

    Answer by HypoHeartBaby at 6:44 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • Unfortunately, it won't make much of a difference with many
    itsmesteph11

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 6:45 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

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