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2 Bumps

He was defending his sister, am I wrong not to punish him adult content

My son is 17 and DD is 15. They go to high school together. Well my DD started dating my son's ex friend. After a talk with my son where he told me that he has no respect for girls and has a reputation of dating younger girls who are virgins just to take their virginity and dump them I told my DD that she is NOT to date him. Well I guess he couldn't handle being dumped himself so he told a group of guys about how she gave him oral sex several times and she loved it so much that she did it in the school bathroom earlier that day, (my dd didn't even go to school that day). Anyway my son overheard him saying all of this and beat the snot out of the disgusting punk. Well they were both suspended for fighting for 3 days. I told him I am proud of him for defending his little sister and I haven't given him any punishments at home. I really don't think he did anything wrong. 3 out of 6 of his teachers called to tell him they would let him make up all the work he missed (they could give him all 0s, that is up to them.) Am I wrong? I also took him out to lunch today and bought him a few new clothes while we were out.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:01 PM on Apr. 5, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (24)
  • I wouldn't punish him. I would be proud that you raise up such a good man. He's defending his baby sister. You dd has a great big brother. Hes not going to let some guy disrespect her.

    Kimberly71682

    Answer by Kimberly71682 at 6:35 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • I probably wouldn't have punished him, but I wouldn't have rewarded him with lunch and new clothes either. I don't think it's ever right to fight, even if he was standing up for his sister. If she had been getting beat up, then yes it would have been okay to step in but it's wrong to start it.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 3:03 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • I wouldn't have punished him but I wouldn't have taken him shopping either.
    nmmama09

    Answer by nmmama09 at 3:04 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • This is a hard question. I think he did the right thing in defending his sister's honor, but fighting is against the rules at school. I think I might talk to him about rules being rules and the school being right in suspending him. I might also tell him that as a mother, I appreciate that he wanted to and did defend his sister, and because of that I was not going to add additional punishment. However, I would make him to understand that this is a one-time exception and in no way puts my stamp of approval on fighting. Maybe you could also talk to him about alternative ways he could have handled this guy's disrespect other than beating him up.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:07 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • I agree with you!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:03 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • Nope. I think maybe a little reminder about fighting in school being wrong, but I would not punish my kid for that. Good job for trying to protect his sisters' reputation!
    silversmom

    Answer by silversmom at 3:03 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • Sounds like he did good to me, I would not encourage the violence, but defending his sister was cool.
    sarahlu

    Answer by sarahlu at 3:04 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • ok i do think that you went too far in buying him lunch and new clothes b/c you are setting him up to think that fighting is the answer to solving problems. That being said i would not have punished him for the fighting this time he has been suspended that is his punishment and he did it for a noble cause he was defending his sister. But you have to be careful on this b/c you may be giving him the wrong impression about how he should handle future boyfriends of your daughter. I applaud him for helping his sister but it's not his fight to handle it's your daughters. Kids are cruel and there gonna say things that are not true and just plain mean
    amberpaiz

    Answer by amberpaiz at 3:08 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • Don't worry about anon, she's usually got her head shoved so far up her butt that everything that comes out of her mouth is crap. I agree with what you did, your son was in the right and if he were my student I would allow him to do the make up work as well.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 4:00 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • I don't know if you should punish him, but you definitely should not reward him. He got suspended from school, broke the rules there, and what he did is illegal. If that kid or his parents tried to sue him or press charges your son could get in a lot of trouble. I understand he came from a place of defending his sister's honor, which is all well and good, but you also need to help him realize that he can't just go punching everyone who talks badly about his family even if they are spreading lies. If he goes off to college and acts that way he could end up in jail, or worse he could get in a fight with someone who has a gun or who comes back for revenge. He could have handled the situation better and I think your job as a parent is to help him realize that so that he makes a better choice next time.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 4:35 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

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