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Would you move...please help!

My wonderful husband and I are expecting our first child in August. He currently lives on the other side of the country because of work. We where hoping that he would be able to transfer or find another job back home with me. My whole family is here and we are all very close. We have been living apart for almost a year now and with a baby on the way i wonder if the best choice would be to just move down with him. Im very scared to move away from family and friends and really dont want to at all ,but its not about me anymore... would you move? what are your thoughts.... thank you for positive support

 
lil_momma_vdv

Asked by lil_momma_vdv at 3:34 PM on Apr. 5, 2011 in Travel

Level 14 (1,764 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Oh and think about it this way. What if it was reversed? What if you had to move away for a job, and your DH decided he just couldn't leave his family to be with you, and he was going to keep your child with him. Would you really be ok with your hubby choosing his family over you? In MY opinion, to have a healthy marriage, you have to put your spouse and your relationship with them first and trust me that is VERY hard from long distances. Your family can always come visit you, and you can visit them, but how is it going to last if your DH feels like you are choosing them over him?
    AprilDJC

    Answer by AprilDJC at 3:44 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • Yes, I would move. I made that choice when DH joined the military. I was 19, had a 6 week old baby, and had never lived away from my entire family. But in my mind, when I got married, my DH became my immediate family. He deserved to be with his child. So we packed up and moved with him when he got orders to Nebraska. 15 hours drive away from my family. We drove home on long weekends, but honestly the independence was great. It helps that I have a very supportive husband though. We have since lived in Guam for 2 years during which we didn't see any family, and Spain for 3 years where his mom and my sister came to visit us, and now we have been in WA for almost 6 years, 33 hours drive from our families, and we make trips home every couple of years to visit. I would not change my decision. I have grown so close to my husband througha ll these moves, and we've been happily married for 15 years.
    AprilDJC

    Answer by AprilDJC at 3:40 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • Personally? I think I would get more support with friends and family nearby than with just my husband. So I wouldn't move.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:36 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • I wouldn't move. I'd stay put.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 3:39 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • so you are asking if you should take your place next to your husband and the father of your child's side or stay near your family? Ask yourself if you are his wife or their daughter (yeah I know you are both but I mean it in a broader way). How is the distance impacting your marriage? Is all the help you have from your family worth not being a full-time wife? This is a really personal decision and one with many details I'm sure. What does your gut tell you? Best of luck to you, not an enviable position.
    8Tinkerboo8

    Answer by 8Tinkerboo8 at 3:39 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • I would definitely move. I wouldn't want to be far away from DH, especially if I was expecting!
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 3:39 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • Id move. Change is always happening, dont be sad or blue, change can make ya happy cause it brings ya something new. Yes youu will miss family and friends, but you will make new friends.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 3:40 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • I agree with anon however in this economy having a job is like gold right now. We moved just so dh could find a decent job and it has been the best decision we have ever made. Have friends and family is important but so is stability for your unborn child and having dad living so far away isn't the best thing. But above all you and need to talk to hubby about it and figure out whats best for your family. GL & GB

    luvmygrlz

    Answer by luvmygrlz at 3:41 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • my dh had a job in texas and i moved from arkansas to be with him its not that far but its a example
    its what was best for my family we had a 2 month old
    april_f

    Answer by april_f at 3:45 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • I would move. DH is your immediate family. I would make sure we had a guest room or a place for visitors to sleep and I would join moms' groups as soon as I got there through meetup.com an such. GL
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 6:52 PM on Apr. 5, 2011