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How to get over a bad break-up

My daughter was asked to prom her senior year and this boy and her fell in love. The first year he traveled 2 1/2 hours to see her every weekend and was a sweetie. I spent a lot of money and time, letting them take my car, get hotel rooms (she played college varsity tennis) and spent lots of money on him for gifts.

2 years and 4 months later he breaks up with her. Just like that. It turns out that I was suspecting things the last year, but he did a 180. He likes to hunt, drink, chew and spend time with friends. She transferred to our local college for him and got him to go to college.

How were we so blind? How does your heart heal after someone does an acting job on you? And the bad part of it is, that I told her whenever I thought he wasn't treating her well. She thought he would change and...........How do you heal from something like this? Will she have the heart to trust another man?

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whitedog

Asked by whitedog at 9:55 PM on Nov. 29, 2008 in Adult Children (18+)

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Answers (8)
  • i dated a boy in my last year of high school and first year of college.... he broke my heart. All I can say is that it will take time for her. I didn't date for a long time (a year maybe).

    But breakups like this are good, because we learn from the experience. It makes us more mature going into the next relationship. You also learn quick that you can't change people, you have to meet in the middle.
    charisma10

    Answer by charisma10 at 10:23 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • She'll get over it eventually. She will just see guys more clearly now and be less naive. She will be a stronger woman for it!

    amydh

    Answer by amydh at 11:41 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • He likes to hunt, drink, chew and hang with his buddies..sounds like my redneck..I mean my son. She is young and in time she will learn it was the best thing. It seems obvious they liked and wanted different things. People hurt us in our lives. We have two choices..to move on and learn from it...or to wallow in self pity and recriminations. Help her to understand it is okay to cry, and that it is okay to move on. You can't judge all men by one.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 12:25 AM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • It may take a while, but she will get over it. I lived with a guy for 2 years and thought that we were going to get married. I stopped going to college and started working and for the first year things were great. After that he started spending lots of time with his friends and not tell me he when he was coming home. I was so in love I never thought anything of it. I was 19 at the time.

    When we broke up I spent a year living with my parents, working and trying to figure out what I was going to do. In this time I meet someone who became a friend and we ended up getting married. I have been married for over 10 years and have 3 wonderful children.

    It took me over a year, so give her time. She may always have feeling for him, but she can be happy.

    Good Luck
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 7:12 AM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • This just happend to my best friends son. He is devasted and wonders why she just basically ended it so quick like. I think this happens to most everyone at least once in their lifetime.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:39 PM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • My co-worker has a daughter who had her first love and it was crushing her with her first break up. Nothing. You do nothing. We can't fix this. But you can be there to listen, be supportive, and to provide some comfort food and goodies. Take her out on mom daughter dates and remind her that she has other important relationships that also need nurturing. Nurture her nature and spirit but don't try to make her feel better or get over it. Its a grief and loss we all have to just go through. It is normal and it will (more likely than not) happen again (and again, and again). So you may want to just always keep on hand comfty items.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 5:19 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • like I told my son when his GF broke it off...get over it and move on your to young to be involved with anyone enjoy your life finish college..I know it's hard but youl'll get over it...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:30 PM on Dec. 3, 2008

  • seriously, she will be fine. she will be better off knowing, and in the future, she will be a better judge of character. there really are plenty of fish in the sea.
    bestmommyeber

    Answer by bestmommyeber at 3:29 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

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