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9 Bumps

Words of encouragement are greatly needed!!!

I had court today for the protection order against my ex and got it. He aslo has to do DV classes, parenting classes and drug/alcohol classes.... if you know our history he was very abusive.... I need to serve the papers but I am starting to chicken out. I need to call the police and get him escorted off the property but I am starting to feel bad for some reason.... I'm so scared. I've never lived alone and I will now have to pay for all the bills.... no bashing please, I am already terrified.

 
June_Mama09

Asked by June_Mama09 at 5:50 PM on Apr. 5, 2011 in Relationships

Level 26 (26,054 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • Feeling guilty or bad for him is a very normal emotion with the cycle of abuse. It's OK that you feel that way but it's time to break the cycle! HE controls his actions and bad actions need to have consequences. He WILL continue to abuse you if you stay with him and if you don't stay with him and let him get away with it he will abuse another woman eventually. Do this for your kids, yourself and for any future women he might abuse. You're going to have to be brave. You may have to pull strength ouT of your ass but you can do this!!!! I'm going to pray for you and your kids. Remember, he hurt you and you don't deserve that under any circumstance!
    Court128

    Answer by Court128 at 3:09 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • Just keep thinking of all the negative things you've been through with him. Get yourself good and worked up to get it over with.
    Nanixh

    Answer by Nanixh at 5:52 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • Think about it this way, if you don't have him removed, and ''chicken out'' then what is there to loose besides your life? ... that's a lot IMO. you said he's very abusive, so he's capable of doing just what i mentioned. God forbid, though. Do it for your kids, if not you. I wish you all the best, and hope you find the strength and courage to do what's right.
    knicole0708

    Answer by knicole0708 at 5:55 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • It sounds like your going through a lot. Just take it day by day. Focus on whats important in your life, even when your down. Your kids will always be there for you. When I'm feel bad, I play with my kids. They make me smile.
    Kimberly71682

    Answer by Kimberly71682 at 5:59 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • Just get it over with. You'll feel so much better when it's all done and over with. You've come pretty far to just back down and give in! As for when he's gone and the responsibilities all fall on you.. there are so many resources for women and children in need. If you find yourself in a position where you are struggling, there is help out there, don't be afraid to ask! Good luck girl!
    bdflykisses

    Answer by bdflykisses at 6:02 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • please dont feel bad. i know how that feels. no matter what theyve done you dont want to be the bad person but your not. it needs to happen. for your kids more than yourself. do it get it over with and it is going to be hard but think of all the stuff you wont have to deal with and the freedom you will have. its terrifing and its definatly not easy. good luck. do what someone else said. just think about all the bad things and crap that man has pout you through. get mad and just call the cops. i wish you the best of luck.
    adriana1024

    Answer by adriana1024 at 6:09 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • feel betterwhen he is gone for good, you will literally feel a load being lifted from your shoulders and your heart...literally. there is a saying ...i can do bad all by myself. GL.

    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 6:29 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • don't feel bad for him you did the right thing. you can have a police escort the papers with you. it will be stressful living alone and paying all the bills alone. however you won't be abused or in harms way anymore. neither will your children which is fantastic. i'm glad you got out of an abusive relationship. i know it's very hard for women to have the courage to do so. i wish you and your family the best.
    xavierlogan09

    Answer by xavierlogan09 at 7:56 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • goodIt's never easy. You know it's the right thing. You can get through this. Many of us had to do the same thing.

    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:28 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • I am so sorry to hear that things are no going well for you, however if you love yourself you need to seek for protection. Your life might be in danger. The bills need to be paid, but that are other sources from where you can get help. Hope the best for you.
    rainha

    Answer by rainha at 8:43 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

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