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DILEMMA! If you will read it...... adult content

Okay so I broke up with my ex 7 months ago, he was my first love, three months ago I started dating a lovely boy. About 6 weeks ago my ex asked to see me and I said yes, one thing led to another and we ended up in bed (I thought I was still in love with him and he said if I broke up with my boyfriend we'd try and work things out) I told my boyfriend and he was quite laid back about it I also explained I thought I was still in love with him, a few days later he told me he loved me and I said it back, because I was in a mixed up place. I now regret it. I am his first love and I feel terrible, I do love him I just don't think I'm in love with him. I love being with him and he does make me happy but I don't feel the same way I felt when I was with my ex, theirs no butterfly's or my heart doesn't skip a beat........
Anyway after that my ex invited me to a get together at his on the weekend (we are still good friends). I want to go because since that happened with us 6 weeks ago my boyfriend always wants to stay in or we just do something together I feel like I have no space and when I do want to go out he says he wants to know where I am and who I'm with I can understand where he is coming from but I'm getting lonely and I'm too young to be tied down. I really want to go but I'd feel so guilty for lying (obviously I'd lie about who I'm with and where I am so he wouldn't go mad).

You can judge me, you can bash me but I really don't care. I want an opinion of someone who can understand and give me some advice.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:51 PM on Apr. 5, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • If you aren't IN love with they guy your with now, just tell him. Your making it worse by draggin it out. He deserves to be with someone that loves him back, and that he can trust. As for your ex, that's your choice, you broke up for a reason...

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 5:56 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • Maybe you should steer clear of your ex if you don't plan on leaving your current boyfriend. How about planning a girls day or something so you don't have to lie to him? If you do plan on leaving your current boyfriend, though, you should do it now instead of waiting. There shouldn't be lying and secrecy in a relationship if you plan on it lasting. You could also go to your ex's shindig without feeling guilty.

    Answer by bdflykisses at 5:56 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • ok first of all i can't beileve that you are saying that you are saying you are lonely you are juggling two men at once!! And who's to say that the ex is not stringing you along b/c you are with someone else and he is trying to see if you'll leave him? You are playing with the guys emotions that says he loves you and wants to be with you. You need to break it off with him and figure out what you want to do with the whole situation. Either way shame on you for doing this to this pr guy. You can't have your cake and eat it too make up your mind already and stop playing games

    Answer by amberpaiz at 5:57 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • Just to point out. I'm not juggling two men. Me and my ex haven't seen eachother since that happend or spoke to eachother until the other day. I was just trying to say  that I wanted to still be friends with my ex, I don't want anything to happen between us.


    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:59 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • You can live your life trying to make others happy but where does that leave you? The boy you like, sounds very nice but if he's not "the one", nothing you can do will change that. 1st you need to step up and be honest with yourself, what makes you happy? Just be sure those "butterflies" are the real thing and not something you have romanticized, into a hopeful reality... I hope things work out well for you.

    Answer by agentwanda at 6:01 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • what does this have to do with your 13-17 yr old child??????

    OR are you the child?

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:03 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • I picked the wrong category.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:05 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • Ya, I tend to agree with the first response. Tell the boyfriend you don't want to be in this relationship. Then you are free to date your ex who brings on the butterflies.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 6:45 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • you wanted to just be "friends" with him when you went to meet him and look what happend. And you can never justt be friends with an ex that you still have feelings for

    Answer by amberpaiz at 7:27 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • Maybe you need to take some time for yourself, and focus on you for awhile. If you aren't in love with your current boyfriend or there aren't those feelings its best to break it off with him so it doesn't drag out. In the end it could end up being worse than it may already be. As for the ex, someone else broke up for reason. Is it really worth it to keep him in your life? Is really deserving to have you in his life? It's very possible he's leading you on until the next girl comes along....I've known very few people that can be friends with ex's who they still care about.
    My honest recommendation is to walk away from them both and start taking care of you. Spend time with friends, find things you like to do on your own. Learn to enjoy yourself and not worry about the necessity of having someone in your life, while boyfriends are great; sometimes we need to step back for awhile and worry about ourselves.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 7:37 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

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