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Why do some of us feel upset when someone disagrees with you, or tries to say you're wrong?

I'm asking honestly, because i am hurt by a little debate & i don't want it too affect me. But it does & i don't want it to. How do I rise above?

I'm Hindu & i have a large group of Hindu fiends. We got in a heated debate about alcohol. I like to drink on occasion, they just go on & on about how bad it is for you & blah...blah...blah...anyhow, they made me feel like a total ass because i drink sometimes.

I'm solid on my spiritual path & i personally don't think that an occasional drink will hinder any spiritual progress. They now they are trying to tell me why i should quit... of some of you not let certain things like this bother you?


Asked by samurai_chica at 6:01 PM on Apr. 5, 2011 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 35 (74,081 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • There are a few things you could try. If you feel the need to validate yourself to your friends, and I can understand that, you can mention that moderation of any type of "indulgence" is fine as long as it doesn't hinder meditation. (and even if it did, it's still your business, not theirs) You can explain that since you have no hindrance in your meditations, you feel comfortable in your choice of having an occasional drink. Emphasizing that it is your choice after all. And if they persist, you can just simply repeat that you are comfortable in your path, and although you appreciate their good intentions, ask them to respect your feelings on this. If it's something they will not let go of, I hate to suggest it, but you may need to put a bit of distance between yourself and them for a while. No friend should harp on you about your beliefs.

    Answer by KelleyP77 at 6:17 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • I think it is normal.

    I don't think it would bother you that they disagree...but I think it depends on how it s said and if you feel "ganged up on".

    We ALL want to be liked and accepted.

    Not to worry, your Non-Hindu friends think your pretty damn cool!!!

    Answer by ItsJustMe1017 at 6:06 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • I know how hard it is. Sometimes people gang up on another person and it is wrong but sit back and take a breather. You are not an alcoholic. I don't see how it is any of their business anyway. I always say to be careful what you trust people with, especially the little things!!

    Answer by jujubean1979200 at 9:47 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • I am a Christian and a smoker. I've been told that smoking can "hurt your witness". Maybe so. Maybe they should get the log out of their own eye before they try to get the splinter out of mine. The only judgement I accept comes from God and God only. When He convicts my heart about it, I'll quit. I just let comments roll off me like water off a duck's back.

    Answer by popzaroo at 11:08 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • You feel what you feel... it is how you ACT that counts.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:04 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • i always remember that when someone is adamant about the horrors of ''any such action i'm doing'' (drinking, for example, since its the issue with your friends), it comes from a possibly unspoken, unadmitted issue they themselves have with that action. perhaps your friends are afraid of their own desires to drink/be drunk (not sure what the Hindu issue is..its drunkenness with xtianity-although a lot of xtians think ANY alcoholic drink is sin.), and are unconsciously or consciously out-of-habit(fear) transferring that issue upon you. KWIM?

    that probably didn't make any sense. sorry.

    Answer by dullscissors at 6:06 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • People will always have differing opinions. Don't let it get to you unless deep down inside you feel they may have a point. If they don't, then pretend you never even had the convo. That's what I do.

    Answer by bdflykisses at 6:07 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • i didn't answer the question, did i? i might get upset because i know i am ok with whatever they think my problem is, because i see it differently than they do. sometimes, if its a familiar rant from particular persons, it gets old, and you learn to tune them out. ...because of the reason i gave in my first response..its really their personal issue, rather than mine.
    in other words, i know what i believe and how to deal with myself. let them deal with themselves.

    Answer by dullscissors at 6:08 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • Maybe it's because they're your friends and you respect their opinion, but you also respect yours? I think feelings get hurt mosttly by the way people tell you that you're wrong. If someone expresses a different opinion, it might hurt less than someone that jumps down your throat and tells your beliefs or actions are wrong. IMO, treating a friend that way isn't very nice. Correct me if I am wrong but it's probably more of you feeling ganged up on than the content of what they're saying??

    Answer by Namaste17 at 6:22 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • We aren't all convicted by the same things in life. If you think it's ok on occassion then you're entitled to your opinions, just as they are. They shou;dn't be putting your down for it. It happens in every "group" of believers. Just pray or meditate or whatever it is you believe in to seek patience and wisdom :)

    Answer by Renee3K at 8:10 PM on Apr. 5, 2011