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3 Bumps

Can a man change from his lifestyle

We have been together on and off for over a year. We are engaged to be married and have a daughter. When he first met me he was head over heals for me but never talked to me cause I was dating someone at the time. We started talking after my ex and I broke up and we were glued to each other like crazy. We both fell in love with each other and I got prengnant. We always talked about his ex who kept texting him and harassing him at work. He told me he was putting a court order against her, her brother and his boyfriend. After he went to court we put our relationship on Facebook and I started to receive emails from people I didn't know asking weird questions about our realtionship. I asked my parter who that person was and he said it's my ex brother don't answer him. I respected him and left it alone. We broke up and I emailed the unknown person asking him why he was so interested in our relationship. He wouldn't give me a straight answer until I asked him about his sister harassing him and he told me he never had a sister. He went onn to tell me that they were in a relationship together prior to him meeting me. I couldn't believe it so I let it go. I started hearing rumors of my partner being gay and he had a new guy picking him up from work. I went to his apartment to see what was goin on and to my surprise he did have a guy living and driving his car. I decieded not to talk to him anymore until the baby was born so we cut all ties. After a few months we started talking again and he deciede he wanted his family back together. We got back together like nothing happen between us. Everything was going good until he wasn't happy again so I left again and didn't speak until I was inlabor. He came to the hospital and didn't leave my side and after our daughter was born he said let's go home and be a family. He also told me everything changed once she was born and I couldn't figure out why until now. I have found letters and documents from the person he claimed was his ex gf but the person was really his ex bf. I was told by a family member that before I came around he was with other men. They don't believe he is gay and that he only has done the things he has done to be like and follow in his moms footsteps. I know he loves me and I don't believe in my heart that he is gay. My question is why after
being with men he wanted to be with me. I'm a crazy for thinking he can jus drop being with men for his family to be as one or am I selfish for knowing what I know and trying to keep our family together

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:52 PM on Apr. 5, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • to answer your question simply: yes. ANYONE can change.
    melly_v88

    Answer by melly_v88 at 6:53 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • To add to what Melly said....but only if they CHOOSE to.
    hopeandglory53

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 6:58 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • I think anyone can change !
    christinahenry

    Answer by christinahenry at 7:02 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • You're crazy if you think this guy will be faithful to you. If he's having sex with guys,he's at least bi. All this past drama would have me running for the hills!
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 7:04 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • I can't hold it over his head for his past that was before he met me. Now if he decides to have a affair with a man then that would affect our family and relationship. I have faith and trust him enough not to but if he does then he is the one who has lost not my daughter and I
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:15 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • If he's truly committed to you and your daughter, he needs to know that he can't just "run off" when times get tough. (Sounds like that happened before baby if I read that correctly?) If he's never actually cheated on you, then I'd say give him a chance. His loss if he messes it up.
    hopeandglory53

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 7:19 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • NO he will not change. he is bi-sexual point blank. he is playing you like a fiddle. i know that you want to be a family for the sake of the child but; how can u ever trust this guy? he is a liar ! he should have told you the truth from the beginning. he is too cunning. if i were you , i would remain friends with him and let him be a father; but as far as relationship..no way ! if he wanted to be a family and settle down with you and the baby, he would have done that while you were still pregnant. he is a player. he keeps giving you the run around and not sticking to his words. if u having the baby isn't reason enough to settle down with you,, what will?? move on and be civil with each other.
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 7:20 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

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