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3 Bumps

Are there any single moms out there?

I feel like I have been a single mom all along in my pregnancy and when I had my son. My bf was in bad shape, well still is. He drinks a lot and he didn't really step up to the plate. Nothing changed for him but everything did for me. I was up with the baby, I stopped hanging out with friends, i got a job, i got a house, i got a car. I finally couldn't take looking at him, he really made me sick that he didn't care about anything or anyone but himself. He never lived with us but I finally called it off with him when my son was 9 months old. We live in a small town and I see him from time to time. I don't miss him, my son doesn't seem to miss him either, he was never involved in anything. I haven't dated anyone since ( i don't really want to either, i just want to focus on my life and my son) and I feel like I have it all, a wonderful smart, well rounded son who is 3 1/2 now. a home of our own, car is paid off, finally hit my goal weight. I can't help but think back to my ex and think why didn't he care enough to stop drinking and take responsibility? what do i tell my son about his father? ( my son has my uncles, my brother, my father as stable male figures and my mom and sister and aunts adore him and love him i have a huge close family.) my ex's side of the family didn't care much either. they were always having problems with drugs or alcohol. I get scared sometimes when i think about what if my son gets messed up because he didn't have a father. I don't know how it works but I just hope that doesn't happen. we are so happy, i'm scared sometimes that it'll all be taken away someday.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:04 PM on Apr. 5, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Single here!
    My situation is a little backwards, as I am the one dealing with negative issues (depression), so I'm the one who needs to fight for custody. But, I'm technically still a single mom, no matter how much I get to see my mom, so I know how hard it can me.

    Good luck with everything.
    AdensMama0308

    Answer by AdensMama0308 at 8:13 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • Single mom here!
    TARARENEE

    Answer by TARARENEE at 8:39 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • Single for more than 20 years, raised my first 2 children alone. Congratulations to you for an excellent job, well done mama! You've proven that women can make a much better life for themselves and their children without a man/father/husband/so, and they don't have to settle and stay in an unhealthy unhappy relationship. Try not to think about the future..you are doing an incredible job right now in the present.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 8:51 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • I"m in a pretty similar situation. I broke up with him and found out two weeks later I was pregnant. he never tried to be involved. my twins are 18 months now. I'm really worried about the whole "dad" thing too but all we can do is keep doing our best for them and they will know how much we love them, and how hard we have tried.
    If my boys dont have a father figure by age 8 I want to get them involved with big brothers big sisters most likely.
    wow youre pretty inspiring. I hope I'm doing as well as you are when my boys are 3 1/2
    <3
    ElsaSalsaaa

    Answer by ElsaSalsaaa at 9:02 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • I am single and just here taking care of my boys and myself.

    You are doing a wonderful job and I would think that you having all of them male figures in your child's like will hopefully ease the burden of not having his dad there. When the time comes and he asks you about his dad you will know what to say.
    jnb71584

    Answer by jnb71584 at 9:43 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • thanks for the words of encouragement and advice ladies.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:44 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

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