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Every woman I know that had children went right back to how they looked before they got pregnant. EXCEPT me! (Dealing with insecurity)

I'm serious. I have a cousin who had a big baby and bounced back to her 115lb frame within 2 weeks and looks better than ever. Her body is perfect. My sil and DH's sil had 2 kids back to back and looks even better than my cousin and doesn't have stretch marks. My other SIL looks like a model (Not exaggerating or joking either) and she has 3 kids! I feel so insecure and I am afraid my husband is looking at them and thinking i'm suppose to be that way. I know he won't be mean but it kind of puts an image in your head after being around perfect post pregnany bodies. I feel like I don't measure up to the standards. I don't even want to be around them because I'm afraid they or he will compare. I'm 160 lbs with stretch marks. What can I do to make myself feel better?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:35 PM on Nov. 29, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • i know how you feel, i feel the same way, but i guess were both wrong, because i am the same way, i cant lose another 20 lbs, and my stomach sags....ugh....gotta deal with it though...nothing i can do. i bet i have more stretch marks than you,,,,im sure of it!

    Answer by SHADYZGIRL1983 at 11:39 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • Damn girl....I totally hear you. My hubby won't say a word either but I always wonder. But at least you are that....I have three and stuck at 215, not moving either direction. I eat healthy, I never sit on my a**, I walk, we go hiking.
    I just don't understand it either...STRETCH MARK GALLORE!!!

    Answer by racingmomma at 11:40 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • Just do stretches each day and perhaps strength training to build up muscle mass. That burns up fat. I'm not saying you are fat but the body stores fat to accommodate taking care of the bay while you were carrying it. It takes time so don't compare yourself to others. Be mindful of what you eat and try what I said about stretches. Don't try working out doing major aerobics or anything like that. Make your muscles strong and flexible by stretching. Try using bands if you like. I just added 2 lb ankle weights to my leg lifts and wow that makes a difference! Take it slow and easy and it will come off. Learning patience now will help for when your child is older! lol

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:06 AM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • lol to the person above. Thanks.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:08 AM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • I am right there with you. I have cousins that are beautiful and dont look like they have ever even had children. One has two kids and the other has three! I have two kids and well, I will be honest, I look horrible. I feel so flabby and the stretchmarks are not helping me feel any better. I will never be seen in a bikini again! I dont know of any ways to help improve your self esteem but know you are not the only one who has stretch marks and weight to lose.

    Answer by YoungMomtoGirls at 12:11 AM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • It took me 2 years to get even close to my original body after kid one, 5 years after kid two and I am at 2 years and counting for kid three. you are not alone. hang in there you can do it but it might take some time.

    Answer by vbongard at 12:12 AM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • After the second kid it was hard to lose because I found out i was three months prego with the third children when my second was only 7.5 months old. So i know how it feels and one thing that I have learned is this. You are now apart of what i call the bbmc (baby beauitful momma club). yes we all did not bounce back to 145lbs and no we can not fit single digits jeans but our men stil love us and we are beautiful with more to love. Stop stressing over losing the weight and once you accept it , it will begin to shed. I went from 225 to 190 but now I am prego again. so the cycle continues . Smile and believe that we are sexy and beautiful. Good LUck

    Answer by mamaprincess001 at 12:26 AM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • For one quite belly aching! When you are negative it makes you sooo unattractive! I know that you are just asking for advice here, but trust me there are some woman that are alot worse off. You are 160 pounds?...whats so bad about that??....I was 170 when I got pregnant the first time, and then after my second baby and three years to now- I am 230 pounds. Believe me, I know it can be depressing and hard to do but you can lose weight if you really want. Just do not let it beat you down emotionally. In addition to that, stretch marks are wonderful, because they show something that many moms wear as badges of honor. I bet your husband finds you more attractive then you are aware of. Good luck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:41 AM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • Every single baby I had laid their own stretch marks. I have four kids and I have stretch marks up to my neck! LOL

    Why are you worried about other people? He married you, right? You have a negative body image because you gave the man a child. Have you asked him how he feels about your mommy body? You'd probably be surprised at his response.

    My husband doesn't care. He's seen me weigh 170-330 pounds and he has never had a problem with it. *I* have, but he has not. He thinks I'm beautiful whatever I weigh. Give your husband more credit and give YOURSELF more credit as well.

    Answer by SkyeGirl at 12:49 AM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • It is harder for some women to lose weight, end of story. BUT assertiveness and laughter, smiling and friendliness, clean teeth, clean clothes, put together outfits- is atttractive- no matter how much you weigh!!!

    Answer by TXdanielly at 1:06 AM on Nov. 30, 2008

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