Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How far behind is your ex in child support?

My daughter is 7 and her deadbeat has never seen her, not ONCE in her life, is only ordered $86 a month child support, which I have never protested, and is over $7,000 behind. He has only ever paid $10.99 and that was some little check the government got hold of.

And yet...the state will NOT let him sign off and let my SO adopt her because we are not married.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:33 PM on Apr. 5, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • 33 years. Tell the Child Support Office to take away his driver's license and/or have him arrested. It took me years to get him to pay and thanks to new stricter laws they got him to finally pay me
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:36 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • That sucks that they are stopping your SO to adopt your child.

    My ex is behind 2000.00 and it just barely started. Sometimes I just want to tell him to sign away is rights and let us live our lives because he is constantly in and out of the boy's lives.
    jnb71584

    Answer by jnb71584 at 10:37 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • A little over $4000. It's about time for the review and a show cause hearing in which he will once again not show up and there will be a bench warrant issued for his arrest. Unfortunately this isn't the first time he's hit the $4000 mark and had this happen.
    bdflykisses

    Answer by bdflykisses at 10:39 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • MY ex is 2 years behind. He's never seen his son or paid a dime and the ONLY reason he won't sign him over is because he doesn't want my fiance adopting him. It's so unbelievably frustrating I know. My divorce is still open because he won't let me get on with my life but as soon as the divorce is finalized I will be marrying my SO and we will start the adoption process. I wonder if you two could do a common law marriage and get the adoption that way? Also check your states requirements for termination of parental rights and speak with a lawyer about writing up a petition for termination of parental rights. I do know it makes things MUCH easier to get if you have sole custody of your daughter. Good luck and keep us updated!
    Dajennible

    Answer by Dajennible at 10:44 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • I don't want to harass him for the money, because I really think he would use paying anything as a way to retaliate against me. After 7 years and NEVER seeing her not even one time, I would not want him popping up and trying to assert rights over $86 a month. Especially when she has always known my SO as her dad. I am just so frustrated by the idea that someone who has proven he does not care on any level has more rights as a "dad" than her "daddy". She wouldn't know my ex from Adam. The idea of him showing up and taking her, or god forbid something happening to me and him getting her when he OBVIOUSLY wants nothing to do with her scares me.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:49 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • Wow, I'm shocked that he is only suppose to pay 86 a month. My ex has to pay 350 a month for one child. I'd like for my husband to adopt my son, but my ex would have to sign his rights over, and he won't do that, even though he has told me on countless times that he watned to, he won't.
    allen.moriahd

    Answer by allen.moriahd at 11:00 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • My 3 year old's father walked away...my SO has taken over the role of her Daddy....we aren't married and according to a local attorney adoption is possible but it would be different to approach....anyway....another solution for you

    Change her last name to SOs last name. That's what I did. It costs $150 in Oregon and only $50 in Virginia...not sure where you are but it took about a month and a half b/c of the procedure of posting, etc.. I didnt even have to notify her bio dad since he walked away and wasn't on her birth certificate.

    Then, you can change her social security card and birth certificate and everything. My DD will not know about her bio dad until she is old enough to understand that her daddy picked her and is there because he wants to not because he has to. :) good luck mama
    huntin_mama

    Answer by huntin_mama at 1:23 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • Since he is listed as the legal and biological father, unless you have sole legal custody (different from sole physical) you can't change her name without the biological father's written consent.

    The reason they won't let him sign his rights away is because the Child Support goes through the State. Until that balance is paid, they will not allow it.
    laird6372

    Answer by laird6372 at 2:37 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • 20K, but we're going back to court AGAIN in May!
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 9:10 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.