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How can I work things out with my fiance and his daughter?

I am engaged, our wedding is coming up in June. I have six boys from a previous marriage(no issues there) and he has one adult daughter named April (32). She has shown a great deal of negativity to me, but she has been great in front of his father. And although he is a witness to it.., he dismisses her behavior. She has done one rude coniving thing over another for the past year. And, she acts oblivious, whats worse, he does too. I swallow everything. Recently though, It all started pouring out verbally and I haven't been able to stop. He has taken offense and is acting like I am evil. The wedding is on the verge of being cancelled

I love her already, but she has the habbit of telling people my personal business and lying alot.  Not to mention, saying she is willing to hang out with me or go do wedding stuff , but she always blows me off. She is over-wieght and I can sense she is a bit threatened by me. She makes insulting comments quite alot and has used me for babysitting and other things at her beckoning call. I have remainded silent for whole year as this has gone on.Hoping that my her father will do something about it.  I watch my fiance witness this and be so passive. It made me crazy.  I have reached a boiling point. Now, I am a monster for voicing my pain and complaints.

Answer Question
 
cheflety

Asked by cheflety at 10:53 PM on Apr. 5, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • Honestly, I would stop it now while there is still time. I don't think either of you would be in the wrong at this point, but once you are married if you can't love her like your own and she is going to interfere in your relationship, I don't see how it could work. He seems to be showing you how he will handle it already. I would at least postpone the wedding until this issue is resolved.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 11:27 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • He will not change his ways. Do you want to deal with it for the rest of your life? If you don't, get out now.
    dustbunny

    Answer by dustbunny at 11:29 PM on Apr. 5, 2011

  • I agree with the other 2 ladies. She may resent you for trying to take her mothers place, but that is not your fault. She sounds like a spoiled bratt.
    sweetangie79

    Answer by sweetangie79 at 1:16 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • So far, all the feed back seems to lead in the same direction. I always need to deal with issues right away or it festers. I am not one of those women who need to walk away and take a few days to think things through. That approach always backfires. I was raised to believe and have raised my boys not to be rude or engage in some of the behaviors she has demonstrated. I have no tolerace for it in the first place. Also I was raised that you spouse should come first. But, today, in his rage my fiance told me that if I made him choose, he would choose his daughter. I got pretty repetitive with my complaints with him in the past couple of weeks because this is the first time I actually got a change to voice my feelings. He wanted me to drop it when he didnt want to here it anymore, I tried, but couldn't. He has not intiated any change or solution and he his still being passive. Now, he has treated me with disregard and anger.
    cheflety

    Comment by cheflety (original poster) at 2:08 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

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