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3 Bumps

Libido ? adult content

I used to love being intimate with my husband. Lately intimacy is once maybe twice a week. We hav hit a rough patch in every aspect of our marriage and I am just feeling disconnected with him. While I am working to repair our marriage, I have noticed that my strong and alive libido is now dead. So dead I don't even "self love" myself in any way. If you get what I am saying. Could this be a direct link to feeling disconnected in my marriage or do I really need to speak to a Dr. About what is going on?


Asked by ADULT.CONTENT at 4:19 AM on Apr. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Level 4 (37 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Sex after having kids can be like going to the beach. At first, you're packing up and dreading the drive. You set out on your way, thinking "Ugh. This is so not worth it." But then when you get there, you think, "Hey, why don't we do this more often?" :p
    It's normal to have a decreased sex drive after having children, as well as after being in a serious relationship for a while. You can't expect to be horny bunnies going after each other 24/7.
    That said, sometimes masturbation can help wake up a waning libido. But really, 1-2 times a week is NOT BAD for people in long term relationships with kids, although the older they get, the more frequent the sex is likely to be. :-) Most people hit a hump (er, no pun intended) after having children where sex becomes a bit difficult. Odds are, it will pass, although if you find it lasting for more than, say, 6-12 months, you may want to speak to your doctor or a sex therapist.

    Answer by CPCrane at 1:52 PM on Apr. 8, 2011

  • I do think its the long stressful days! Children and additional daily tasks raises stress levels and you might physically too tired and drained for libido:). I have 4 children and 30 and some nights, I just can't do it, but when I see my husband in the mood, sometimes I'll muster up enough strength to "get it done" (lol)! Talk to your husband about what's going on and how you are feeling, he will understand and you guys can work through it together. Maybe he can even help a little more around the house with task to take away some of your stress?

    Answer by nekiwa07 at 7:20 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • Libido?? What was that agian?? I am only 36. I am experiancing the same thing in my marriage too right now or it could be the 2 yr old i have...IDK If u figure it out leyt me know?

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 4:37 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • three kids under three y/o will kill anybodies libido when they get older it should get easier if not check wiht the doctor they now have stuff to help a woman like levitra or cialias.

    Answer by mamak57 at 7:20 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • I think it has a great deal to do with your situation and you're feelings that your marriage is not at a greta stage right now. I will tell you I was the same way with my ex. I had no interest in beig intimate with him at all. Our marriage the last ten years was horrible. I stayed mainly because of our children but in the end when we split it was the best thing for all of us. Thank god after I realized my libido was still there and as of this day is in fuill bloom and I cannot get enough. Women are emotional creatures at habit and when we associate bad feelings with a person, it can't help but affect other areas, such as your sex life. Yes having kids and job also affect this as well but in the end when you're feeling bad about a spouse, bf etc, it will have an emotional affect on your intimacy as well. On your part there are a lot of decisions to be made and all women want to feel wanted and needed by their man.

    Answer by CopingMom33 at 7:43 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • I will definetly do that. We have a 3, 2, and 1 year old so maybe the long days and stress from that as well is what has killed mine. =)

    Comment by ADULT.CONTENT (original poster) at 4:44 AM on Apr. 6, 2011