My step sister and I have gotten into a little debate and I need some help settling it. She was abused by her mother when she was growing up, which is why my stepfather divorced her and is still scarred from her expirence so, when she was over at my house yesterday she freaked when my two year old began to pitch a temper tantrum and I popped her on the bottom. She started fussing about how I was encouraging violence and spanking lead to abuse. I told her that lack of disapline was abuse. We argued about it for a couple of hours.
I love her children dearly but her method of disipline is weak, which is why her children don't listen and are disrespectful and walk all over their parents. I pointed out to her that my child has better manners at two then her children have at the ages of eight and twelve. I don't always spank to disapline my child, in fact I rarely spank her, but sometime that's the only thing I have to do. I'm a kindergarden teacher and I've been babysitting since I was eleven and I've seen what happens when children are not disaplined. When I was a child, if I talked back to a teacher then I got by ass whipped, but even in collage I saw students that talked back, cussed, and were down right rude to their teachers and I can't stand it.
I want my child to learn that there are rewards for good behavior and consequences for bad behavior and, for the most part, she is pretty well behaved for a toddler. My mother was strict with us but her mother was too strict. She doesn't think that you can disapline a child without being abusive.
I was watching her children one time and I told her eight year old son to pick up his toys before lunch time and he told me to shut the hell up so I spanked his butt. I pointed this out to her along with the fact that, since then, he has hastened to obey when I have told him to do something and has been extra polite since. She pitched a fit and I told her that I wasn't going to watch her children if she wasn't going to make them behave and I'm not allowed to disapline them.
This is something we argue about constantly and I wanted to know what CM thinks. Let's see if we can settle this arguement.
Answer by 3HappylKidds at 4:49 AM on Apr. 6, 2011
Answer by sailorwifenmom at 4:59 AM on Apr. 6, 2011
Answer by stressedoutgran at 5:21 AM on Apr. 6, 2011
Answer by Jenniy at 5:28 AM on Apr. 6, 2011
I never spanked either of my kids, and both of them are respectful and they listen to me! However, my mother did it to me when I was younger, and I disrespected her for it and swore I'd never do it to my kids. There are rewards for good behavior and consequencesfor bad but laying a hand on someone is called" abuse!" What are kids gonna do when they don't like what another kid does, they're gonna hit cause that's what they see they're parents do, when they don't like something they've done! I'm just stating the fact that it" does" work, not spanking !' Violence" teaches just that, more violence!
Answer by anichols1 at 5:50 AM on Apr. 6, 2011
Answer by Dr.Donna at 6:18 AM on Apr. 6, 2011
Answer by chgomom at 6:18 AM on Apr. 6, 2011
Answer by Dr.Donna at 6:22 AM on Apr. 6, 2011
Answer by momavanessa at 6:58 AM on Apr. 6, 2011
Answer by gemgem at 7:57 AM on Apr. 6, 2011
Next question overall
Could someone please tell me what the heck the deal is...