Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Have you ever been psychologically hurt by either of your parents?

My parents are separated since I was just 2 years old. My mom still holds a grudge on my dad. And I know she got pregnant with me when she was just in college. I always wondered if I ever was a mistake of her's.

She's married to another man after the divorce, so now I have 3 half-siblings. My mom has always given me more of her anger than to my other siblings. Even with my kinda little mistakes, she still gets mad at me more than my other siblings. She's always used foul words on me when she's mad at me and my siblings, especially when she's not in the good mood.

Whenever she takes things below the belt, she apologizes few moments later. Then the same routine happens when we argue with her. She even thinks lowly of me, yet I do her requests. She doesn't show gratitude sometimes. Sigh. I'm sick of being treated this way. And tired of forgiving often to here when I know that the incident happens all the time.

Answer Question

Asked by cookie1205 at 8:25 AM on Apr. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Yep my mom has been a mental and emotional abuser for years. She had me also in college, didnt marry my dad, he married someone else and she hated him my entire life. She was also always jealous of me. I know hard to believe but it is true, she was jealous of any and all attention i got she thought she should be getting. As I got older and was also prettier then she was, things got even worse. When I was 17 she remarried and told me I couldnt come with her because Id just ruin it for her. I was fine with it, she was such a jerk anyway. My step dad never understood, and made her reach out so I played along. My grandma asked me to try to have a relationship with her, she didnt want to think I was an orphan with no one when she passed. So I have tried.

    Right now I am not speaking to her. She crossed the line once again and I have no patience or even want to have a relationship with her now. Sometimes you have to walk away.

    Answer by gemgem at 8:33 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • @gemgem first to leave a comment. Haha. Thank you for sharing your experience. :)

    Comment by cookie1205 (original poster) at 8:44 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • yeah, both my parents...mostly when i was younger. we are okay now mostly because i've learned how to deal with them but when i was a teen all i could do is run from them. I don't like being abused..verbally, psychologically, ..any form so thats why i would leave..even now though i do say i "deal" with it....i do deal with it better but if one of them says something dirty to me i break down and go without speaking to them until they come around to me and apologize I didnt talk to my dad for almost 2 years until a couple of months ago just because of something he said. They need to know they are wrong. Just shut her out and make her wonder why.

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:49 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • My mom was the same way as yours. My dad too, really, but only because of my step-mom. It really does a number on one's self esteem, but I'm slowly learning to get past it. It still hurts, though, pretty much daily. You just have to realize that it has nothing to do with you, though, it's THEIR shortcomings.

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 8:59 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • Perhaps your mom has some psychological issues imprinted upon her by her parents as well. If she is making you pay for her feelings toward your dad then maybe she should be told. I had a dad that criticized me all the time. I finally ask him to stop. He was shocked. He said he didn't realize he was doing it and he did stop. Sometimes it's as easy as communicating the issue and how you feel.

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:03 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • Yes they both were abusive just as their parents were to them. however, thankfully i broke that cycle. I also left home at 16 and never ever ever ever (no matter how bad things got) ever went back! I dont talk to my father at all and he lives 5 minutes from me and i speak to my mother twice a month....

    Answer by BalooSkii at 9:08 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.