Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

Do you all feel guilty when...

you're in a grocery store and your child wants something, ex: candy. You let your child have it then the child behind you in line whats the same thing except the parents say they can't afford it?

My daughter, if she's been good, I always let her pick out 1 package of candy. Either gummy starburst, or a sucker....something really cheap. She loves it. She knows if she's good, she'll get a treat.

Well, the other day, this little boy was behind us and wanted some gummy starburst. So, I bought an extra pack and gave it to him.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:11 AM on Apr. 6, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • No I dont. Sometimes parents say they cannot afford it because they dont want to buy it for their child. I am one of those parents. My dd is allowed to pick out something healthy in the store for a snack, and every time we get to the check out lane she also wants a candy. I tell her no 90% of the time and will say we do not have the money for that. In fact we dont. I have so much set aside for junk, and so much for healthy. It would not break my bank to get her a package of candy, but I just choose not to since shes in sports, and I try and keep a healthy diet going. I figure I am not the only one out there doing it. I know Im not. I got the idea from my mom friends lol.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 9:14 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • OH... I dont know if that was a good idea. VERY VERY kind hearted... but please tell me you asked the mom first.

    I have NEVER been in the market and heard someone say "we cant afford that". But I have heard them say no to buying something... and I didnt feel guilty in the least. That is how they choose to run their family... and I choose differently.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:15 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • I respectfully disagree with the idea of telling a child "we cant afford that" under those circumstances.


    I think it is healthier for the child to say... We choose to spend our money on healthy foods. I think it puts life in a different view. Instead of making the child feel that they are too poor for what others have they are made to feel that you are making choices with the money you have. Even if reality is that both are true.


    You need to spin it differently for your children... while they are little.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:18 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • I don't feel guilty.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 9:20 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • I don't like it when they say that they are too poor to get candy. It just sounds like a cop-out. If it is becuase they don't want their kids to eat candy they could always say lets get something healthy. We are living paycheck to paycheck, like most, and yet I still give my 2 year old a chance to earn a little treat. Usually I try and make it something that we can share, telling him that we were both good and deserve a treat together. Sometimes I even ask him if we should get something for daddy in case he was good today too. He likes being able to give his daddy a 'treat' too.
    krisreyn

    Answer by krisreyn at 9:26 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • I wouldn't feel guilty if that were to happen to me either. Maybe they just don't want to buy that particular thing for their kid. You never know.
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 9:26 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • No, I wouldn't feel guilty. What I can afford for my children isn't effected by what others can't afford for theirs. My husband and I work hard at maintaining a lifestyle (even if it's not luxurious) that allows us to treat ourselves and our kids every so often. (Even if not very often) If other parents cannot manage to do this (whether financial or otherwise) that doesn't effect the fact that I can. My husband I built the lifestyle we have and worked from barely living paycheck to paycheck to just above that. We've come a long way and I am proud that we can buy extra treats or spoil ourselves once in a while.

    And unless the parent specifically said "We can't afford this" you can't really judge as to why they're not buying it for their child. I RARELY let my children have candy, because it's just not something they need. Yet I know other parents who buy it often if not all the time. So yea ...
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 9:38 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • Do I feel guilty to hear others say "I can't afford it"-- no I don't. I figure they are between paychecks and watching their money, or they just don't want to buy the treat. I get paid 2x/month and on non-pay weeks money can be a bit tight, and if I have to pick up a few grocery items I tell the kids "we are going in for x,y,z" ahead of time and if they start begging I tell them "not today". I don't think my kids need to get into the habit that they need treats every time we go to a store--- that can add up and get expensive!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 11:03 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • no i wouldnt feel guilty but i would be sad for the little boy so i would ask the parents if he could have it and get it for him also
    flipper4u21

    Answer by flipper4u21 at 11:26 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • No, I do not. The parent may just be saying they don't have the money because they don't want the child to have the candy. I also don't feel guilty when I don't buy my child something for being good in public. Being good in public is expected and NOT rewarded. I would NOT buy candy for a strangers child, especially without asking first. That child could have allergies, don't allowed to have sugar or the parent may not want the child to have candy.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:29 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN