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Im so fed up with everything!!!

My husband gets on my nerves terriby bad, I can't stand to be around him, and he never helps me out. He wakes up and goes to work. Gets home about 5:15 and HAS to be doin something like outside or away from me and our son. If he doesn't hes constantly on his phome ignoring us and hard to get gis attention! He tells me what to do with my son when I'm the one that raises him! He does nothing but pays bills. He never feeds him, never bathes him, rrely changes his diper, never plays with him, and never puts him to sleep. I'm getting sick.of it. I only get like 4 hours of sleep at night, sometimes more! But I just thonk he should hep out a little more its drivi.g me crazy! Its gettin to the point I take it out on my son by yelling t him for not going to sleep bc I'm so tired. Y cand my DH just take him for awhile?? Ugh does anyone else feel like this?

Sometimes I think id be better off by myself!!
Sorry I just had an emotional.breakdown and have noone to talk to ay the time ):

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:29 AM on Apr. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • it sounds like a very rough relationship. I would never be able to stay in that type of relationship. My DH is SO hands on and my PARTNER. your son doesn't deserve to be in this either since he seems to be taking on your stress..
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 11:33 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • ohhh , i know this one real well , for me its been goin on 11 years , and i feel the same way -- i would be better off being a single parent , but then i would have to let him have kids on some days and dont want to do that cause if he dont care for them all along why would he if i wasnt there , know what i mean.
    letstalk747

    Answer by letstalk747 at 11:33 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • Sounds like Dad needs to step UP or step OUT.

    Make him do his own laundry and cooking. It will be a wakeup call.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:35 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • TALK to him, tell him how you feel. Let him know you're hurting, and need some down time. He won't know if you don't tell him. Read him this post, maybe it will open his eyes.. I hope you get some help soon, and are happy again...
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 11:36 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • i think you really need to talk to him. you need to show him that you don't want to be the maid. tell him that you're not comfortable doing all of the household chores. but you also need to put into consideration that if he is the one working he is busy a lot of the time. BUT that is no excuse for after 5ish when he gets home... he needs to be with you both if he loves you both. i'd say step one is to just talk to him. tell him maybe you want to go out and get a job or maybe you feel a distance between you two that you want to work on. if you don't show effort he might not know. sometimes men are blind lol so make it clear that you want to be together. maybe you two can bond...teach him how to change your sons diapers. try washing dishes with him TOGETHER and fighting with the soap. make your life fun :) make the household chores fun so that once in a while he can help you..... just make sure he knows your uncomfortable!
    Miszross

    Answer by Miszross at 11:36 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • I think I understand why your husband finds other things to do. Even if you aren't saying any of these things to him, he reads your body language and he knows you despise him. Most men do not have the first clue as to how to take care of a baby, and most of them are scared senseless of doing something wrong that cannot be corrected. If you really want him to help, you need to drastically change your approach. All of this demand that husbands take over the childcare when they get home from work grew out of the women's liberation movement. The men did not buy into it, but my husband was great help with all of our children. Get yourself a copy of FOR BETTER OR FOR BEST by Gary Smalley, read it, and implement some of his suggestions as to how to better involve your husband in the things in which you would like to see him involved. There's a right way and a wrong way to ask for help. That's what you need to learn.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:37 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • Exacty. My son probably wouldn't stay with him to be honest. And I would worry the whole time.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:37 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • Your DH needs to step it up. It's unfair to make you do everything. Tell him if things don't change you will seriously be considering leaving him.
    KateShesGreat3

    Answer by KateShesGreat3 at 11:37 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • when my kids were little and even sometimes now...we'd go out to the mother inlaw's and she lives out on a farm so i'd be stuck inside her house taking care of a baby while hubby was outside helping one of his siblings (they seem to never move away from home) and when the baby was taking a nap or something or if i desperately needed him, he's NOWHERE to be found!! it irritated me so much cause he never did any of the chores that came along with the kids either, diaper changing, baths, ect. It was always up to me.

    He always make it seem like he was way too busy to help out but at home he also made excuses like he was too dirty from work to hold the baby and so on. The kids are older now and i dont know how i survived through it all. I think we just let them get away with it and feel sorry for them...we know he's on the phone, so we let it go. i guess we should be more bitchy
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 11:41 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • I don't want him to do everything when he gets home!!! I just want a littlw bit of help. My eyes r constantly on my son. He goes to the bathroom with me, I can't do nothin!! If he just took him in his room and played with him for 30 mins whie.I cooked supper I would be happy but no, he has to be hgin on my leg while dad plays on his phone. U dont understnd NANNYB...I don't want him to take over just help!!!!!!!!
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:46 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

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