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Is she crossing boundaries

My son's dad and I are not together. My son is an infant, less than 6 months old, and we haven't been together since I was 2 months pregnant. His father has a new girlfriend, they're living togther after dating for only 2 months. They're "engaged" with no rings, but have known eachother for 13 years. Well, sometimes she'll message me on myspace and say she can watch our son..this is on a day say I call his sister and ask if she wants to see her nephew.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:42 AM on Nov. 30, 2008 in Babies (0-12 months)

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Yep. Her relationship is with a man, not the mans child while he is absent. They are together two months & already living together? It certainly does not represent sound decision making. Tell her to stop over stepping her boundaries with your son. She can take part with the baby as the father has his time with the infant, that is between them.


    Does she have kids? Doesn't sound like it or she would know better than to act like this with a new mom of an infant. We are allowed to be protective of our kids & anyone that does not realize that needs to be schooled on that fact !!


    Given his history with women, it should not be that hard for you to spell it all out for her. I sure would. I'd tell her to concentrate on her new man & back the hell off my new baby !! Good luck.

    strongmom40

    Answer by strongmom40 at 4:22 AM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • cont.....Mind you, I am not looking for a babysitter but was just wondering if his auntie wanted to spend time with him. Another time, our son was with his auntie and his dad WAS NOT at her house, his girlfriend went over to his sister's to spend time with my son, that irritated me. I think she has no place over there if he is not there. I feel like she's using our son to get closer to him. The last thing she did was, we are getting a paternity test (court ordered) and she's picking up the results. I feel it's none of her business. Your thoughts?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:42 AM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • I jumped in really fast with my SS when my husband and I got together. I wanted him to know that I completely accepted the fact that he had a child and supported his decision to be a single parent for my SS. I have a really hard time coming at this one objectively. Perhaps she isn't using your son to get to your ex. Maybe she is just trying to show him that she loves him despite his past and wants to be involved with his son as far as allowed? How long have they been together?
    Mom1Stepmom1

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 3:49 AM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • I am totally against different women being around him. I hold the same true for myself. I think the only people that should be around him are family, if they are in a long-term relationship then that is different. Say, 6 months down the road and they're still really happy, then introduce them. He doesn't even knwo his father yet, he need to know him before her. They've only been dating for 2 months. A little history behind him is....when we dated he owned a house with some other girl I found out about, another girl emailed me when I was pregnant saying they'd been dating for 4 years, another girl saying she was marrying him when I was 9 months pregnant, and another girlfriend he was seeing the time he was dating all of us. That is why I'm so concerned.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:53 AM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • Now, I think a slew of different women coming in and out of his life would be detrimental. We actually worried about this with BM, because until she married DH, she was in and out of relationships like I change my nailcolor.
    Mom1Stepmom1

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 3:58 AM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • My bf has children and I looove spending time with his kids. I don't discipline or anything,that is not my job.IF something is a prob, I talk to him secretly and privately. I let him be the dad. I just enjoy getting to know them,they are apart of our life too. I don't think it is a big deal.Maybe just talk to her nicely and ask that she only sees the baby when he is around since you do not know her too well. I'd only be skeptical of someone I don't know around my child. Especially any men...or anyone changing my childs diaper. LOL. I am very cautious.There are assholes and manipulating people out there. I'd just get my child,if you were not okay with someone else there and ask her to only be with the baby when he is there.
    sweetest-sin7

    Answer by sweetest-sin7 at 3:58 AM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • I completely agree with Sweetest sin. If the whole different woman each week becomes an issue, then discuss it with the ex, but until then, just have a mediator you trust there when she is with baby.
    Mom1Stepmom1

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 4:05 AM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • I just get annoyed when I meet them to get my son and she says things like "oh he ate this much" or "he pooped but it wasn't bad," etc. I feel like his dad shoudl be the one feeing him and changing him. His dad has never taken care of him by himself. I just feel like she's crossing the line. I am really pissed that she's going to pick up the test results, I feel it should be either him or I. Maybe I'm jealous she gets to spend that tiem with my son and I don't...I don't know. I am really worried about him exposing our son to lots of women though....based on his past. he was telling this other girl's kids that our son was like their brother....he's not with that girl anymore but she was one of the 4 he cheated on me with....do I sound like a crazy, jealous ex?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:11 AM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • & about the test results. If it is his test & it is up to him to pick up the results, you really don't have much say in how he picks them up or who he sends to do it. Don't start the visitations & situation off by worrying about things you can not control. You will become very weary quick. Pick your battles. Since your son is so young & the father does have a history of jumping women, I would get complete proof of every one he has the baby around. A picture, something concrete that will hold up in court if every you need it. Psychologist have proven how harmful it is for people to be ripped in & out of kids lives. It won't look good on him in family court if he starts dragging this boy through all sorts of women. Just thought I would say that.

    strongmom40

    Answer by strongmom40 at 4:33 AM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • Thanks! I know that I can't control who picks up the results and that such...but I guess I just wanted HIM to be responsible. The judge said he had to have it filed by next week. I have proof of two of the girls but that's it. I just wish I had more control than I do :(
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:45 AM on Nov. 30, 2008