Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

How to keep a good relationship with your childs father? (Long)

Ok, so me and my sons father broke up nearly a yr ago. It was a very clean break up, no drama or bs. I was un happy and left the relationship after giving it 5 yrs. I am now in a relationship with a wonderful man who is great to me and my son. Heres the kicker, my sons father can't/won't get over me! I want to keep a good relationship with him for the sake of my son and I have this feeling that once things (if) things become more serious with my boy friend (marriage,baby ect.) That it will crush him and desolve any hope he has in his mind of getting back together, in return he might hate me.He is also putting a little pressure on my current relationship, by making endearing comments on the regular. Have any of you ever been in this situation? And if so what was the out come?

Answer Question

Asked by AydensMommy1109 at 11:54 AM on Apr. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,003 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • I've not been in that exact type of situation but if I was in your case, I would "desolve any hope he has in his mind of getting back together" now before you get into any kind of serious relationship. That way, he knows that you will NOT be getting back together and won't feel resentful of you stringing him along.

    Tell him that the endearing comments and touchy feely stuff has to stop now. The sooner he starts to realize that the only thing you 2 have to talk about is the child, the sooner he can start getting on with his life.
    Yes, there will be a time when he will be madder than hell, but then he needs to realize that you have a child together that he needs to keep his emotions in check for.
    My XH and I are now better friends that we were when together. But, early in the split i told him that any kind of emotional attachement was off limits and we really had nothing to talk about if it didn't have to do with our DD.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 12:02 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • no, i havent been in this type of relationship BUT i do think that you can't have it ALL, you can only have one and it looks as though you chose your new man's side. Your ex also needs to move on. Whatever comes out of your new man's relationship with you, is your business and for now, you should only be talking on terms of just your son and thats it, he should know this.

    You can only get along with your ex if he can accept that you have moved on, if he cant, every little thing will bug the frick and frack out of him and it'll never be a nice relationship with him.

    Answer by americansugar80 at 12:03 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • Just tell him all you want to talk about is the kids.Your new realationship is'nt his business.If that does'nt work have your family member or freind meet him when you are exchanging kids or just pick the kids up from school and have him do the same on his turn so all you have talk on the phone.Don't let him control your new love. Good luck.

    Answer by Betutah at 12:36 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • This is a hard place to be in, I had a ok relationship with my kids dad until I moved on, he did not want the divorce, In my case it just got worse! I wish you the best and if you find the answer I would love to know, cuz I am tired of all the BS!!!!


    Answer by jenn2bowman at 1:04 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.