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Would this be offensive? Not really sure what category this belongs in

So I was friends with this girl in high school, we drifted, but remained cordial, and now we work together. She has a 2 1/2 year old son and I know that she is having a hard time financially as they cut her hours back at work and her husband doesn't work. I have the means to purchase her son a Christmas present, but he doesn't know me, so I would just give it to her to give to him. I want to get him something to make sure he still gets a "good" Christmas, but I don't want to upset my friend. Do I wrap it and give it him from me even though he doesn't know me? Do I give it to her and tell her it can be from whomever she wants it to be from? Do I skip it altogether? She has been open to me about her financial problems, so that isn't just an assumption.


Asked by Mom1Stepmom1 at 3:44 AM on Nov. 30, 2008 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,498 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • That is nice & most of all thoughtful for the boy. He is 2 & 1/2. He isn't going to know who it is from even if he is told. Well he won't remember that is for sure. Just wrap it & give it to her for him. She may put it under the tree, it won't matter. I don't see why you would have to say anything that would lead her to be offended. Just give the present to her & say your family was buying for kids only this year & you thought about him. Some things can be understood between people without words being said.


    Answer by strongmom40 at 3:55 AM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • That is such a kind thought!!! I would talk to her and just say, I know that you have been having a rough time financially. I do not know if you want this or not but I bought your son a present. You can give it to him as you, or Santa, or whomever you would like. I wanted to relieve some stress for you and hope that you don't take it in a negative way. I am sure that she will be so grateful.

    Answer by a_and_j_momma at 3:47 AM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • Hello, I think you should skip it altogether and donate to a homeless shelter if you want to donate. The child is only 2,and he doesn't know you...and the dad does not even work. Why doesn't he? Is he a retired veteran;which is 100% understandable...or is he just plain lazy? You are so nice.I donate a lot and I've learned to scam through the ones who could really use it and my feelings. I'd rather donate to the starving children or the ones with no coats at the shelter. Good luck sweetie. Go with your gut.

    Answer by sweetest-sin7 at 3:51 AM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • He hurt his back at his last job, but was working under the table, so he was unable to get any kind of compensation. I am not exactly sure as to what the doctors have said regarding him working again.

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 3:54 AM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • It doesn't matter if his dad is or isn't is not the child's fault. I think you're doing a great thing

    Answer by a_and_j_momma at 3:56 AM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • I agree with a and j momma. You sound like a great friend! Actions speak louder than words...I think your friend will appreciate what you are doing for her son, even if he doesn't know you!

    Answer by bamaunicorn at 7:53 AM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • I think it's wonderful what you are doing. Not ALL children who are living in financial crisis homes live in shelters or foster homes and it's great that you recognize this. I don't think your friend would be offended considering that she has been open with you about her family life and her financial crisis. Just wrap the gift, tell her what it is, and tell her that you had a few extra bucks this year and decided that her son would enjoy a gift, even if it is from a secret santa. You're a good friend!

    Answer by lilsweetredhead at 8:22 AM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • Give the gift to him, from you. Skip all the talk. Just say, "I am happy to have you as a friend. I thought your son would enjoy this gift." She will be grateful and the manner in which you give the gift is not important or relevant. Just do a nice thing, and move on.


    Answer by Teachermom01 at 9:41 AM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • i think teachermom hit it on the head.

    Answer by IGotLuckyInKy at 9:48 AM on Nov. 30, 2008

  • i would buy and wrap a gift for her son. what a greta idea and warm thought.

    Answer by nannybopeep at 10:02 AM on Nov. 30, 2008

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