Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Freaking out, call from his lawyer

have long awaited support hearing on monday am
this am, get a phone call from his lawyer
did not have much time to talk, getting ready for daughter to go to school

his lawyer was talking like lawyer (i did not know he had gotten one) he was sniffing me off, should have kept my mouth shut but did say a few things back to lawyer
like i would fight tooth and nail to have daughter not have visitations that were not supervised and went into some reasons
his lawyer talked about 17% of money coming to me, i was not sure where he ewas going, told him to call back getting daughter ready for school no time, since then i have been on phone vcalling to find lawyer, do have appt to see one tomorrow, do not know if he is the best but i do need one, as monday father could ask for visitation on weekends and i feel she will not be safe with him

i did call the father, should not have, but did, he is very concerned with money, *after 6 months he did not want visitation rights, but now that he will have to pay 17% he wants it now! asshole

words to help me

I AM FREAKING OUT, what he gets time alone with her
(he has real issues that could harm her-i am not a bitter ex, just a mom wanting safety for daughter0

stories for me that sometimes things work out ok

please help me calm down-so very worried for my little daughters safety

anon, just in case, need to be careful, this stuff does go to public forum
you may know who i am, no name call outs please, in case


Asked by Anonymous at 12:12 PM on Apr. 6, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • I know where you're going with this. He CAN"T be alone with her knowing his background. Tell the judge why you left. tell him what the psychologist said. Hell,subpoena the doc if you need to! I'd fight tooth and nail to get supervised visits ONLY. I'll bet odds are that he's pushing for visitation because of the child support. My dad did the same with me back in the day.

    Stay strong hon. I'm sending good vibes to you!


    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 12:22 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • If he is unfit then I'm sure your lawyer and the judge will see that. It will be ok, just breath and calm down.

    Answer by L0vingMy3Girls at 12:18 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • To xxlilmomma09: That doesn't mean anything! You're assuming too much, she says he has issues and is obviously concerned about the safety of her daughter.

    Answer by GomezMami2908 at 12:19 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • Tell his lawyer to NOT call you again,. Tell the lawyer to communicate only in writing to you or your lawyer and if he continues to try and intimidate you by calling tell him you WILL File an ARDC complaint against his lawyers license. You REALLY have to have SOLID proof to keep your kids dad from visitation, your gut feelings will not fly in court with the judge. Child support usually starts at 20% of the gross income of non custodial parent. NOT 17% Who the heck does this lawyer think he is?

    Answer by vbruno at 12:27 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • First off, don't contact him anymore. Don't talk to him. Don't talk to his attorney either. Don't give him any information AT ALL. Find your own attorney and communicate thru the attorneys. If money is an issue check with legal aid in your area. If you are concerned with your daughter's safety then you better have documented proof she will be unsafe, not just your "gut". Child support and visitation are two separate issues. If he is behind on child support he does still have the right for visitation. Once you have visitation in writing thru the court follow it to the letter. If he doesn't show or is late make sure you document it. If he is later than a certain amount of time you will have the right to make the child unavaliable to him. I hope this helps a bit.. good luck momma.

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 12:27 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • I got my cake and ate it too. Ex was a moron and not good with the kids, he had joint custody and never came to visit. I went back and got sole custody and an increase in child support. You sure can have your cake and eat it too if the circumstances are right! It is about the well being of your child, not the cake.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:19 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • Why dont you want him to have visitation?

    Answer by kayceeisit at 12:16 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • ok, chill! you do not necessarily need a lawyer, if your case is being brought through the Child Support Enforcement Office. If so contact them and let them know what is happening. Make sure to let the judge know that the lawyer contacted you and how you felt about his ulterior motive.

    You continue to do what is best for your daughter and share any safety issues with the court. It will work itself out.

    Answer by ElenaC419 at 12:17 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • 17% is usually what the state takes for one child for child support. If court Monday is dealing with child support, visitation will not be set up at that time. Visits and child support are two different issues. If he has a lawyer he is probably going to try and get visits. You will need to get a lawyer, and have all the documentation as to WHY you think he should not visit. You cant go in and say oh I just dont trust him. You cant go in and say once a upon a time he used drugs. You have to have very real and new information a judge can look at before any judge would not allow some form of visitation.
    Since he has not been in the childs life you can argue he is only asking for visits due to having to pay, again a lawyer would help you argue this without sounding vindictive. Good luck.

    Answer by gemgem at 12:17 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • From what I read in your post there are major concerns with daughters safety you so need to talk to a atty, depending on what your concerns are talking to CPS might not be a bad idea, I have learned from my custody case with x the law and what is right sometimes do not work hand in hand, I some what agree with if he pays he should get to see his child. If you can prove why it is not good for him to see your child than do it for her safety, otherwise the law gives him rights too. Good Luck!!


    Answer by jenn2bowman at 12:20 PM on Apr. 6, 2011