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Before you got married, did you deep down know it wasn't the right decision?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/emily-gordon/did-you-know-deep-down-th_b_842803.html

Yes, yes we'd all had reservations about getting married, tucked away in some tiny, shushed pit of our stomachs. We'd all been quietly scared of what we were about to do, and one by one we confessed our reasons for not listening to ourselves -- I thought it was too late to cancel, I thought that everyone felt scared and wrong on their wedding day, I thought marriage would be the thing to fix our relationship. Hindsight is always 20/20, but I imagine a lot of married and divorced people have insights to share about how they felt during their engagement.

 
tasches

Asked by tasches at 12:30 PM on Apr. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Level 48 (298,202 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • With my first marriage I knew it was probably a bad idea, did it anyways, regretted it then got divorced and moved on with my life. Now I have my soul mate, without the bad first one Id have never figured out what behavior I would not tolerate in a new man.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 12:31 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • With my 1st marriage I knew it was a bad idea. I felt pressured into it because we had a baby and he and both sets of parents wanted us to get married. It ended in divorce because ultimately I did not love him enough to put up with his crap the rest of my life.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 12:33 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • Yes... I wish I never married my husband now I am stuck and it's going to be hard to get off of the marriage.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:31 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • I have always followed my intuition and it was saying go for it this will be grand! and guess what after 39 years I can safely say it has been!
    older

    Answer by older at 12:33 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • Yep.. And we wound up seperating 2 years later. :-/
    xxMasonsMommaxx

    Answer by xxMasonsMommaxx at 12:40 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • With my first marriage I knew it was a bad decision, but felt forced (not because I was pregnant, but because my ex had nowhere else to go). I tried for 12 years to make it work and then gave up. But as much as I knew that marriage was wrong, I knew with my whole being that my 2nd marriage was right!
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 12:41 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • No, I had no doubts whatsoever. On my wedding day I had people telling me something was wrong with me because I was way too calm for the whole situation. When my kids get engaged I am going to be telling them that if they ever have the littlest inkling that should not be marrying the person they are engaged too that they can call it off, not matter if it is 10 months, 10 weeks or 10 minutes before the wedding even if it means we will be out a bunch of money or whatever. That is not something that you should have doubts about.
    JamieLK

    Answer by JamieLK at 12:50 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • No! I wanna renew our vows for our 10 year anniversary.
    KoolMom617

    Answer by KoolMom617 at 12:55 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • I deep down knew getting married was the wrong thing to do! I feel now I have to make it work! I will make sure my kids are 100% sure when it comes time for them to get married!
    jenn2bowman

    Answer by jenn2bowman at 1:15 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • I felt that way with my son's father. We didn't end up getting married, but we were engaged and planned on it. We were together for almost 6 years and had our whole future planned out. I knew in my gut it wasn't right. I kept putting it off and eventually decided to leave because if it felt wrong to marry him, we had no future together. ya know ??
    loudnproud87

    Answer by loudnproud87 at 1:32 PM on Apr. 6, 2011