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What is your opinion on a step child calling their step parent mommy/daddy adult content

My four year old calls my husband daddy, and his bio dad doesn't like it and complains, but yet my sons father never shows up for his court ordered visitations, never comes to get him for the holidays, or call and ask how his son is doing. Also he complains about paying me child support, and not wanting to pay for 50 percent of out of pocket expenses after it was issued by the court.

My husband pays for everything for my son, and raises him and treats him as his own child. He is there for my son when my son is sick or when my son needs things he provides them for him. My opinion is just because someone is the bio dad does not make you a dad.

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ashleypalomba

Asked by ashleypalomba at 1:04 PM on Apr. 6, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 6 (115 Credits)
Answers (30)
  • Its natural for a 4 year old to call the prominent male figure in his life Daddy. I wouldn't correct him.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 1:05 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • I have a stepmom and stepdad, and never call either of them mommy or daddy. I didn't see a need for it. I don't think it makes a difference...it's a matter of preference.
    Renee3K

    Answer by Renee3K at 1:06 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • I personally dont think it is right for a child to call another person mom or dad, they have one already. My older kids dad has never been active in their lives, and has only visited a handful of times since 98, they are adults now. My husband is their step dad and does all the same thing your dh does for your son. He told them from the beginning he was not their dad, but step dad, but loves them more than anything. I respect him so much for doing that, because even though he cannot stand my ex, or how he has been towards the children, he understands there can only be one mom and one dad in someones life (whether we like them or not).
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 1:06 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • Well, I can see why it'd be hard for a bio dad, but my 6yo DS calls his step-mom mom and its fine DS calls my husband by his first name which is fine with all of us. We've given him the option to call step mom and step dad whatever he wants to. It was hard for me at first to have him call someone else mom, bu he's old enough to understand the differences and he does. Plus he has 2 little half brothers from his father, so I wouldn't expect him to all his step mom by her first name and his brothers get to call her mom. Also, the step mom is great to my son and he loves her, regardless if I care for her or not. She's been in his life for 5 years now, and my DH has been in his life just as long.
    yesmaam

    Answer by yesmaam at 1:08 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • If a parent is not active in a childs life I think they don't deserve the title of daddy. If my sons father gets mad that my son calls my husband dad, then maybe he should step up and be a dad. My husband has been in my sons life since he was one years old.
    ashleypalomba

    Comment by ashleypalomba (original poster) at 1:09 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • I think it is childish to have your son call him dad when you know it is going to cause a problem.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:10 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • if the child and the sd have no problem with it, screw the bio-dad. he's just being an idiot.
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 1:10 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • Thank you everyone for some of your comments. I think my husband deserves to be called daddy. Because he has been in my sons life since he was one, and we got married right after my sons 3rd birthday and he has been there every day pays for his schooling and everything else, and he let me be a stay at home mother. We are also young. I am 23 and he is 22, We got married right after my husband turned 21, he definatly is mature because he stood up to the plate and accepted my child, and is taking care of him.
    ashleypalomba

    Comment by ashleypalomba (original poster) at 1:12 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • It's up to the individuals involved. I am a stepmom, and most of my kids have both a stepdad (my DH) and a stepmom (my ex's wife). None of us have any problem with the kids involved calling the parents involved anything they want and feel comfortable with. My older children tend to refer to the stepparents by first name, but to the younger kids the stepparents have been a part of their family for as long as they can remember and they tend to call both my Dh and their father 'dad' and both myself and their stepmom 'mom'. None of which is confusing for any of them, they all know who their bioparents are and how we all got into this big blended family.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 1:12 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • Why do people get upset when other people love thier children a child should have as many people around him that love him
    peace013

    Answer by peace013 at 1:13 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

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