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My 5 year old....

I'm starting to get out of the "super mom" phase, where EVERYTHING in my life revolves around my kids. I've started taking classes, 2 nights a week, I've started going to the gym, Those two things I've started doing for MYSELF. They make me feel better about myself, they make me feel better period. My 5 year old, flips evertime we go to the gym, she has fun when she's there, but she starts a war to not go, then tries to make me feel terrible after the fact that we have gone. Today I was in tears and just didn't go, I'm tired of fighting. My husband feels bad for her, like I'm being selfish. Now... I stay home with my kids, when some moms have to work, and not see thier kids for 8 hours, what's wrong with me taking time out and working out for one hour a day? What should I do? Or do you think I'm wrong and selfish?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:23 PM on Apr. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • there's nothing wrong with what you're doing. maybe your daughter just isn't ready to be so independent.
    febmom007

    Answer by febmom007 at 1:24 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • Nope, keep doing you time. Your DD will learn its okay for mommy to go out .
    yesmaam

    Answer by yesmaam at 1:25 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • Could it be that she doesnt like one of the workers, or the timing is off for her.


    I think you SHOULD go... Im a HUGE proponent of exercise and feel moms... specially sahm NEED it for our sanity.


    At 5 she is old enough to give you a reason she puts up a fight.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:25 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • You are not being selfish wanting to go to the gym and do something for you. I think your child is throwing a fit because this is something new and a change to the routine. If she does not want to go with, then why not leave her at home with your husband and go by yourself? If that is not an option then let her know ahead of time that "we are going to the gym today" and don't give in when she pitches a fit.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 1:28 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • She'll get used to it, you deserve something for yourself.
    Kimedbs

    Answer by Kimedbs at 1:45 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • You deserve some time to yourself, you deserve to do things that make you happy because in the end that will make your family happy. My mother worked but also had a life that didn't solely revolve around me and my siblings and I'm glad because she taught us there was more to being a mother than cleaning house, cooking, and caring for your children. She is one of the strongest women I know and we never grew up feeling like she didn't pay enough attention to us and we never felt unloved or deprived of anything. I believe your daughter will grow out of her tantrums about this and eventually accept that going to the gym is a part of your routine.
    anon1986East

    Answer by anon1986East at 2:13 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • i would try compromising with her....it should work for 5 year old.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 2:21 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • Wether you work or not, parenting is a hard job and there is NOTHING wrong with you taking a little time to workout or take a break to do for you... Your husband needs to not feed into your child's insecurity.

    monshine2

    Answer by monshine2 at 4:23 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • Talk with your child and find out why she's so resistant to you going to the gym...you deserve to have "me" time, whether you're a sahm or a wm, it really doesn't matter. The one thing that you shouldn't feel is guilty about your five year old not wanting you to go. Maybe this is new for her and once she gets adjusted to it, she won't give it a second thought. But the key here is to talk with her and find out what's going on with her...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 5:21 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • Taking some 'me' time is nothing to feel bad about. Your child is probably just not adjusted to you having these times away yet and after a while it won't be an issue.
    jspenny2705

    Answer by jspenny2705 at 7:11 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

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