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6 Bumps

Do the relationship questions on here terrify you?

The daily begging for advice in stories on non-communication, abuse and neglect from husbands and boyfriends shocks me. My husband and I were together more than 10 years (dating, living together, married) before I was willing to "risk" having kids. How can anyone have children when their relationships are so tenuous and/or miserable?

These women have my sympathy but I don't understand how their relationships progress so far (to marriage or children without marriage) when they obviously don't have a strong friendship bond with the man.

Answer Question
 
Whimsee

Asked by Whimsee at 2:06 PM on Apr. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,029 Credits)
Answers (28)
  • I think that alot of women are impulsive and think they can change a man. They just want love so badly and ignore the red flags that are everywhere. I just wish we as women could love ourselves more and know we dont have to settle for lss than we deserve.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 2:09 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • i very rarely read them, because its usually about 'my husband cheated on me AGAIN' .. really.. leave the jerk.. lol
    3HappylKidds

    Answer by 3HappylKidds at 2:09 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • Well, in my case it was stupid choices. I had been dating my then boyfriend for less than 3 months when I got pregnant. Oooops. After my son was born and we were living together he got an ultimatum: Marry her or move out. That came from his family, but more from his church. We've been married 7 years now and it's not perfect, but he doesn't beat us or anything.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 2:09 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • not at all , real life is just that ,real life
    letstalk747

    Answer by letstalk747 at 2:10 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • It does not shock me one bit. If you get out into the world & know lots of people, then you can see how screwed up some relationships are. People are strange, yet we all want to be loved. It's acutally more rare to find someone you are compatible with than finding someone you are not really compatible with.

    I just read these questions & feel very lucky that i got one of the good guys out there.

    People have kids because nature creates these urges in us that make us want to have sex with each other. Some people are more careful than others.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 2:11 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • It surprises me too. I feel for some of them. Really, it must be difficult dealing with a full plate of baggage and they just want an ear to talk to....
    mamacita69930

    Answer by mamacita69930 at 2:12 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • It doesn't shock me...just makes me more grateful that I have such a wonderful hubby
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 2:13 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • I guess I just haven't known that many dysfunctional people....but, some of the posts here DO shock me. WOw....and they make me thankful that my life is filled with mature and kind people. Really.....I feel so sorry for some of these women but even MORE sorry for the innocent kids who have been born in those terrible relationships.
    minnesotanice

    Answer by minnesotanice at 2:14 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • "I don't understand how their relationships progress so far"

    Because regardless how screwed up a relationship is, people still need to depend on one another. That dependency is what makes bad relationships "progress" into a long term relationship.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 2:15 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • I think what terrifies me more than anything is than in 2011 we have women here who don't believe that they are anything without a man. And so many of them are LESS because of that man.

    My mother pounded it into my head that education came first, men second if at all. It was tough on my dad to understand that college for me was not husband-hunting ground.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:17 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

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