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2 Bumps

Left Out?

I feel like my opinion doesnt matter sometimes because my husband doesnt want to listen to what I have to say. I am cofused sometimes because I will say something to him and then next thing I know he acts like he came up with the idea. If he finds something out at work or does anything I am usually the last person that he tells. So I am confused on what to do with issue. I oculd use some help.

 
shelle21

Asked by shelle21 at 2:14 PM on Apr. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,522 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • When it comes to the idea stealing I jokingly call it the "Fred Flintstone Phenomenon" lol. Where I will suggest something, he pretends he didn't hear me and then says the exact same thing I said. I'll say yes Fred. lol. He's gotten better over the years, I don't understand it either. Also, my dh doesn't always call me first with good news. It's hurtful, and I've told him. We're still hit and miss on this one.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 11:15 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • yep, first things first...sit him down & ask that he listen to you. If he can't, you may want to seek counseling.....
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 2:17 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • the first thing is to tell him how you feel.
    febmom007

    Answer by febmom007 at 2:15 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • It probably has to do with how he grew up. If his mother was an incharge kind of woman, he may resent your input because it reminds him of her. It is very difficult for any of us to grow up and not learn some negative behaviors. This is true in even the best of circumstances because none of our parents were perfect. I have seen this dynamic that you describe in men whose moms were very controlling. At some time in their lives, they have said, "I will never live with a woman like that." The sad thing is that they judge women that way who are not even close to what their own moms have been, but because they have made that judgment, they are compelled to stick with it. If you see such a connection in your husband's behavior, I would simply tell him that I am not his mother nor do I want to be like her. I would also say that I am a woman who does have opinions, and I will continue to state them even if they are not considered.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:25 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • My S.O can be the same way. I very politely but bluntly tell him it hurts my feelings when he does____(I am very specific about what he did) and this is why it hurt my feelings. I then tell him how I would prefer him to handle the situation. He listens and at the very least we work out a compromise so my feelings are not hurt

    thecoffeefairy

    Answer by thecoffeefairy at 2:18 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

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