Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Next Question, Please »
Answers / Life & Home / Relationships

Ugh! BD step mom! :@

Okay! So when I was pregnant my baby daddy's step mom was nice to me..at first. But then I went into pre-term labor and I was sent down the Bangor 'which in Maine is a major hosital and a big deal to be sent there'. When I got down there she was all about taking control. I was going in and out of labor and this one time right when I went back into labor ( the stepmom, my BD and his dad were there) I was screaming in pain and I could barely stay still, She made my BD LEAVE ME IN THE MIDDLE OF GOING INTO LABOR!They went out to eat and went shopping and everything! Finally they had came back and the Dr's had stopped my labor. Well After that my BD left me, returned home and started dating someone else. 2 months later I returned home as well and went into labor, I called the BD and told him I was in labor, and what did he do? He went to the school dance because his step-mom told him to. She's threatened me a million time that she was going to take my daughter away. Now me and the BD are back together and she's trying to be all nice to me and be in my daughter's life. Should I just forget about the past and move on? Or am I right to hold a grudge to her and not forgive her and ignore her attempts?

Answer Question
 
kaysmomma121110

Asked by kaysmomma121110 at 2:27 PM on Apr. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Level 9 (349 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • It will take time to move past the things she did, I believe you are right in being angry with her but because she is in your life its best for you and your child to not hold on to that anger - try to not think about it, eventually with time you'll be able to let go of that past and move on.
    anon1986East

    Answer by anon1986East at 2:49 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • Well, you don't have to trust her or think that she is always looking out for your best interest, but I think you're placing blame in the wrong place. She didn't get you pregnant and then go out to eat while you were in labor, the BD did that, and the BD went to a dance, too. Just because she told him to go doesn't mean he had to. I'm pretty sure she didn't tell him to get you pregnant but he went ahead and did that anyway. If he didn't have the good sense to stay with you when you were in labor then that is on him, not his step-mom. If you're back together and moving forward then I think you need to expect your BD to be responsible for himself. His choices are his choices, just because his step mom has an opinion he is the one making the choices, not her. I would let her be nice to you and forgive her the past, it won't help things with her or your BD to hold a grudge. Start over and hold BD accountable, not his step mom.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 2:50 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • what's her side to all this?
    you were in labor and may not be remembering everything that happened. As for threatening to take your daughter away, has she ever told you why she feels that way?

    I think I'd like to hear a bit more about what she or your BD says about all this before I would make any kind of call.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:56 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • I remember it all very clearly actually, She told me she was going to take my daughter away because I supposedly wasn't going to let HER see my daughter. Which didn't make any sense because I never said I wouldn't. Even though I know she wouldn't be able to take her away just the fact that she would even threaten that bothers me. And as for blaming the BD, trust me, I've told him millions of times I'm not just blaming the Step mom for his decisions because it's his mind that makes them, but since he's only 15 his step mom's opinion does make a huge impact on it, I'm not only blaming her at all.
    kaysmomma121110

    Comment by kaysmomma121110 (original poster) at 3:07 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • I would talk with her and get a clear understanding of the issues you have with her so you can move on.
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 4:08 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • Make it clear that you can forgive but will not forget...Also, make it clear that this child is YOUR child and she needs to back off and not threaten you.
    monshine2

    Answer by monshine2 at 4:17 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • She has no legal obligations to that baby. If your BD can ignore her ways, then it should work out.
    jspenny2705

    Answer by jspenny2705 at 7:05 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • Thank you everyone! (:
    kaysmomma121110

    Comment by kaysmomma121110 (original poster) at 8:48 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • I say be nice. Let your child get to know her, but always stay on guard, because you know how she truly is. I wouldn't trust her.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 10:09 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
Answers / Life & Home / Relationships