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3 Bumps

How could a mother just leave their child?

This is more of a vent than a question, but another question got me to thinking of and discussing this...

I know a girl who, when her son was 12 months old, just decided that she "didn't want to be a mom anymore". She moved across the country with her new boyfriend and left her husband and son. She ended up coming back over two years later and wanted partial custody, and got it. Regardless, though...

How could a mother raise their child for a year, then decide they didn't want to be their mommy anymore? You'd have to kill me before I'd let someone take me away from my child. It's my absolute worst nightmare! I just don't get it. Is it selfishness? Where is that maternal instinct? Do some mothers just not have it, or what?

While I don't get how fathers can do it either, for some reason, it's even more horrible to me that a mother could do this.


Asked by LovingSAHMommy at 5:11 PM on Apr. 6, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 40 (115,957 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • You got me OP. DH and I both adore our son and would do anything for him. We couldn't imagine not having him as part of our lives. But I guess like vicesix says, some women just lack that maternal instinct. It's sad I think.

    Answer by thatgirl70 at 5:16 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • Some women just lack that maternal instinct.
    I don't understand it any more than I can understand why anyone does awful things honestly. But I do know that some women just don't ever develop that same deep emotional connection and bond with their children that most of us do. I'd rather them leave the kids then say, drown them in the bathtub.

    Answer by vicesix at 5:13 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • I could never leave my children, but some ladies are, frankly, better out of the kid's life.

    That is so sad.

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 5:17 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • Maybe it was PPD, it could take awhile to go away.

    Not everyone has that maternal instinct. My nieces mom was the same way....sad to say that, but it is true.
    Later she fought for custody of my niece and lost. My brother raised her since she was an infant.

    Answer by ItsJustMe1017 at 5:41 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • i'm rasing my step son and step daughter need i say more lol i persnal will fight to the death for all 4 of my kids ( 2 of them being me step kids but there mines now )

    Answer by feralkitten at 5:18 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • like the grinch - their hearts are just three sizes too small - in some states if you abandon your kid for over 12 months you lose your rights to them. that is how it should be everywhere.

    Answer by AmaliaD at 3:23 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • I think that's totally okay, OP. That you deleted her, I mean. We don't HAVE to be friends with everyone in the world--there's always going to be people we don't like, or who are so rotten as to be intolerable. Maybe that sounds harsh, but it's how I roll. If someone is a piece of crap, I don't feel obligated to include them in my life.

    Answer by vicesix at 5:24 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • I guess there are rotten people out there and ILL people out there - PPD can sometimes take over your thoughts and make you question your place - I didn't get Maternal Instinct - Our son was planned and we thought all would be "perfect" I think my depression/anxiety/PPD a very difficult infant made me want to run many times however the reality and responsibility would have to hit me constantly that first year - Its hard to say what every person feels when they become parents, it doesn't come easy or natural to all of us out there - I look back to some of the feelings I had when going through my PPD and the early months and can't believe I ever felt like that but.. hopefully she has come to her senses and WOKE up - if not, that's just beyond sad and terrible for this poor child if this is just her personality

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 5:24 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • Not everybody has that maternal instinct. I guess I'd just be glad she left her child with someone who loved him and could take care of him.

    Answer by skittles1108 at 5:30 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • I dont understand how some women can be like that either my heart breaks when my kids hurt and if im not with them ...some people just think out of sight out of mind i guess

    Answer by mom0510 at 5:51 PM on Apr. 6, 2011