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Any ideas to aid my son from becoming a bully?? adult content

My son is 5 years old and attends preschool. There have been two different instances where he has pushed the smallest child from his class. There has also been an instance where during class clean-up time he was ripping a mr.potato head doll from another girl and it broke, making the girl cry (she was in the process of putting it away herself, I was told) and he was then put to sit on the brown carpet. His teacher attempted to talk with him, but he would not talk to her, only continued to cry. After the incident, at home, I also attempted to try and talk with him about it but I also got no reply or acknowledgement.
That nite while I was at work, my husband I guess had a discussion with him and I was told that he was upset because he made the girl cry and also because he got into trouble.
I don't want this to continue during kindergarten next year, I want to be able to squash this before it seriously starts. Any ideas??????

Answer Question

Asked by Gener4Mom at 7:10 PM on Apr. 6, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 4 (45 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • See if his preschool teacher will be willing to work out a behavior plan with you. Pick the top 3 behaviors, like being kind to others, being a good helper, etc. and put them on a daily/weekly behavior chart. You will get daily feedback & maybe have him work toward a reward after a few good weeks. Catching him being good is key here. Helping him develop empathy can take time at this age. GL! :)

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:15 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • I agree to focus on things he does right and to praise him for them. Lots of times a bully needs more positive attention and more one on one time with each parent..

    Answer by elizabr at 7:22 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • Thank you for your responses! These are some good ideas that I have not thoroughly thought about! :)

    Comment by Gener4Mom (original poster) at 7:24 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • I made my daughter work off her misbehavior. Believe me when I say I was UNHAPPY to get a phone call from her preschool telling me that she and another little girl were picking on kids who didn't have the right brand of shoes. They were telling them they were "poor" and their parents "didn't have jobs". I know that those kind of words come from a parent as opposed to a 4 year old...but that made little difference to me. The shoes went to Goodwill, she went to work with her grandma at their church's food pantry, and I made sure she apologized to the kids.

    I would definitely make the punishment fit the crime.

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 7:34 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • Schedule playdates with those he might have more trouble with / everyone there --eventually.
    Developing a personal friendship (especially outside of the classroom) can help a lot.

    Answer by doulala at 11:04 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • goog comunication enfathazise consecuences, manners feelings and detentions...

    Answer by GlitteribonMom at 7:22 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • Discuss empathy. And similarities and differences. And teach inclusion.

    Answer by MamaMia9999 at 10:10 PM on Apr. 16, 2011

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