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2 Bumps

MIL plays favorites...

I'm just tired of it. It's mentally and physically exhausting. I've been with DH for over a decade, and MIL's always treated me as an outsider. But, she LOVES her son in law and comments that's he's the best.

I'm tired of trying to please her. It's even harder that LO is almost 2, and she favors her unborn GC but can't admit it. As sson as LO was born, she kept pressuring SIL to get pregnant.

She used to constantly say negative things to LO till we took up for him and DH did, too. Then she stopped.

I know she'll never change, but I need to learn how to ignore her stupid comments to LO and love him because she's the grandmother.

How do I do that for DH's, LO's, and my peace of mind?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:33 PM on Apr. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Smile and say well thank you only you would know.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 8:35 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • tuff one. my son is the ONLY grandson my mil has and she treats him like crap! But she has 1 or 2 of the GD everyweekend. Last time we asked her to keep ds for a few hours - she truly said "do you want him back ALIVE"......good luck.
    brypmom

    Answer by brypmom at 8:37 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • I was in the same situation as you for years. Finally, for our 10th wedding anniversary I decided to give myself a present - I no longer had to care what my MIL said or thought. It was like a weight was lifted off of me. I stopped trying to live to please her (which would have NEVER happened anyway) and focused on making myself happy. It was amazing! I still have to deal with her at holidays (I don't think we we get out of putting up with her at a holiday as long as she's alive) but I don't try to go out of my way to make her happy. I just don't care - and it's been wonderful. Sure she still makes rude comments, but since I know she's just a hateful old goat they don't bother me as much. Good luck in finding your peace with your MIL.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 8:38 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • My mil is the same way. I tried so hard to please her and finally realized that she is a bitch and i don't like her so why do i care if she likes me? Im not going to change her or how she feels about me so I stopped trying. Been with hubby for almost 17 years. I don't care if she doesn't like me, my hubby loves me and thats all that matters.
    Hang in there and don't let it bother her. She is bitter or something.
    Mel_in_PHX

    Answer by Mel_in_PHX at 8:40 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • Oh wow Im so sorry but I agree with pinkdragon36
    mommato2boys79

    Answer by mommato2boys79 at 10:24 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • First of all, just because she's the grandmother DOES NOT give her the right to say negative things to ANYONE!! Esp your child. I'm kinda confused with the LO stuff, but I'm gonna try to give my opinion from what i got out of your question. lol Your husband needs to stand up to his mother. Favorites is ALWAYS a NO NO. My son's father's mother was like that. Forget that, I put her in her place many times. If you don't earn your respect, you aren't going to get it from me. I don't care who you are. At the end of day, you aren't any better than me or my children & you don't have a right treat me that way. After I put her in her place, the whole family followed & quit all the negative comments & playing favorite. I say don't expose your child to that period. You shouldn't take the abuse either from ANYONE. You deserve better than that. If you let her treat you like that than you're modeling that for your kids.
    loudnproud87

    Answer by loudnproud87 at 11:36 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • I think my MIL plays favorites but with all 3 of us. One time of the year I'm her favorite another time she will pick one of my other SIL's and so on. Right now I think I'm her favorite because I had my 2nd baby her 2nd GC. My one SIL recently told her that she isn't invited to Christmas because she only wants to have it with her family. The other SIL told her how she should decorate her house. So until I piss her off in some way she will hate me and pick one of the others.
    Mom1127-0125

    Answer by Mom1127-0125 at 12:00 PM on Apr. 7, 2011

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