Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

I not sure how to ask this?

But here it goes. I was going to get married but something happen as in financial reasons why we didn't He may have tax problems and he didn't want me to be responsible for his debt so after he takes care of his tax things. then we can get married..

My thing is I am upset and I am not sure why. I know in the long run he was protecting me. 

Any advice ? On how to not be upset .


Asked by Anonymous at 9:44 PM on Apr. 6, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • If that's the only reason, then be grateful that he wants to fix his problems before they become your problems too!

    Answer by bdflykisses at 9:48 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • Disappointment is normal. I don't have advice as to how to NOT be upset, but if it were me I would just remember that him waiting IS an act of love, and thank goodness you won't have to have debt attached to your name. Feel better!

    Answer by CollegeMommy121 at 9:48 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • There is no reason taxes should be an excuse. There is a thing called the injured spouse form where you wouldnt be responsible. If I were you I would do some more financial digging before you take the step there may be so much more you dont know about.

    Answer by okmommy08 at 10:03 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • It's ok to be upset. If I was you I would be very disapointed because I would have been looking forward to marrying someone I loved. If it's ment to be it'll happen.

    Answer by Liamsmom09 at 9:49 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • omg get over it he loves u and that all that u need to worry about

    Answer by jimenez123415 at 10:00 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • I think he is smart for not wanting to get married until its resolved. If you get married and something happens and he dies, youcould be responsible for it. I understand you wanting to get married and upset that you have to wait, but I would agree with your SO wait until its taken care of and start fresh together. Its not fun bringing on other peoples debt in a marriage. We ended up filling Bankruptsy because we both had a lot of baggage when we got married.

    Answer by Ambear72 at 10:34 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • If your marriage is meant to be, then it will only make your relationship stronger by repairing/fixing the issues before entering into the marriage. I was in your situation and chose to get married before fixing issues. It only created more tension and disappointment. Just keep the faith that it will all work out!

    Answer by oldgloryusa at 10:55 PM on Apr. 6, 2011

  • This good be a good / bad sign. He could be trying to do the right thing, finding a reason to delay the marriage, or could be stringing you along (possibly leaving himself open for someone else). The only way I see finding out more is to ask him if there's anything you can help with without giving him money. Tell him you know some tax/money tips (you may have to do some research if you don't really know) but I would say it's the smart thing to do to at least explore how true the "financial reasons" are. No one can protect you but you, but protect yourself discreetly.

    Answer by hellokittykat at 12:49 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • I think that his debt must be larger than you think. If he wants to wait until he gets it paid before you get married, I see no problem with that. A lot of people would have never thought of that. I'm sure you are disappointed, but if it's meant to be then it will be worth waiting for in the end. Good Luck!

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:21 AM on Apr. 7, 2011