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What would you do if all your husband did was play video games and not have a job??

ive been with my husband for 4 years now and all he seems to want to do is play his video games and hang with his friends. i mean i like my vidio games too but i do have a job and besides our room mate im the only one out of me and him that pays bill and buys everything for our place and takes care of our child money wise. ive talked to him and argued with him about getting a job and he just argues back and i dont know what to do anymore. ive fallen out of love with my own husband and im not really sure anymore if i even love him anymore. what should i do??? any one have any good advice?

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Asked by confusedmom83 at 2:42 AM on Apr. 7, 2011 in Relationships

Level 4 (56 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • IDK. Are the bills getting paid? Do you have food on the table? Personally I'd love it if we could afford for him to sit around playing video games instead of going every day to a job he hates and coming home stressed and nasty to us. Try to see it in a positive light: at least he's happy??

    Answer by judimary at 2:45 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • My sister was in a similar situation, she was w/bf for 3yrs, he would get a job but could never keep then, she had a baby from him, I thought she was going to stay w/him & keep having more kids but to my surprise she left him when her child was about 7-8months old, its been almost a year and he still doesnt have a job.

    Answer by gabby06 at 2:47 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • I think talking to him would be the best thing to do... my hubby plays way to many video games and I tell him this time all the time and he knows where I stand and I make him spend time with me

    Answer by enaNianza at 2:47 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • Honestly? I would give him an ultimatum, to get it together fast, or hit the road. When he decided to marry you, it was a partnership, and both of you should work together, but it appear that he's working against you, and that my friend is unfair. My boyfriend for 2 years help me when I need help, and I do the same. Let him know that playing the video games all day won't get the bills paid. I'm a single mom, and it's hard doing it by yourself, but you're married, and your husband is unemployed? Girl let him know that he has a family to support. He's "ONLY" doing this because you're allowing it. Put your foot down and get his butt out looking for work before you start seeing utilites cut off, or rent not being paid. Coming in here asking for advice is okay, but we don't live with you. Let this man know that you're tired, and it stops here.

    Answer by ambr2006 at 3:05 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • Kick him out. I did it & still have no regret.

    Answer by shynu at 3:08 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • thank you for your advice ambr2006 i really appreciate it and im going to try this and see how it comes out. ive tried putting my foot down but it causes so many problems that i tend to give up but im getting tired of it and im getting very stressed out bc of it. i get migranes from it and sometimes i dont eat and sleep right so i think my only choice is to give him an ultimatum of either get a job or im gone. my friend in utah says that sometimes leaving someone makes them grow up and realize what they lost and sometimes wakes them up work to get that back,

    Comment by confusedmom83 (original poster) at 3:12 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • Listen to your friend in Utah. When he refuses to go to work and take care of his family, it shows how less of a man he is. Throw him and the video games out the door, but first let him know that you're giving him another chance to get it together and support his family. Then if he chooses not to, kick him out. Why go through having migraines, not eating or sleeping? Put the problem out of your life. Good luck to you. I'm a full time teacher, and I better get to sleep. My little one woke me up screaming from having a bad dream. Keep me posted, but take our advice, and let this husband know he need to start supporting his family.

    Answer by ambr2006 at 3:29 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • He's not treating your relationship as a partnership. Give him the opportunity to be a partner - if he doesn't rise to the challenge, I would consider moving on. You need a husband who will work with you, not one for whom you work.

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 4:08 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • If you can't handle him being a SAHD. Get rid of him. sense you are doing it financialy alone anyways. You being single will not effect you.

    Answer by louise2 at 5:55 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

  • The only way I would support a husband "long term" is if he had a disability and couldn't work. There is NO WAY I would support ANYONE who won't look for work and stay gainfully employed once he does find work, just because he wants to stay home and play video games or hang out w/friends. As an adult, in this world, you must work. I was raised w/the concept that "if you don't work, you don't eat"! Also, he is setting a terrible example for your child. JMO

    Answer by etexmom at 8:08 AM on Apr. 7, 2011

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